Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs

30 Jul

I saw this quote in a bathroom stall once, and it made me chuckle even though I’m so not a drug user of any kind.  Okay, I like my coffee on occasion, and I admit to craving beer and rum during this pregnancy (to which I say, “WTF?” because I don’t even like beer).  But somehow I doubt that’s what Lily Tomlin had in mind when she said this.

Reality these days is that Jade has to take a whole lotta drugs multiple times a day, and today was her first day on Clonazepam.  The day did not start off well. 

I got up at 4:30 when she gasped a couple of times, but fortunately it didn’t turn into a full-blown seizure.  Still, I decided it would be better to bring her into bed with us, so we witnessed her little seizures at 6:16, 7:00, and 7:20, making for a fitful night.  While I was getting her diaper changed in the morning she went into a full tonic clonic seizure that lasted two and a half minutes and caused her to pee all over me.  I bawled as I rocked her for the 10 or 15 minutes it took for her to recover.  I told her she wasn’t allowed to have another bad seizure day.  Then we went upstairs to have breakfast and I gave her the sedative.  I had decided to stay home with her, since we had no idea how she would react to the new drug, and I didn’t feel comfortable putting that responsibility on the daycare.

I didn’t witness a single seizure all day.

It’s too early to tell if this is really how the drug is going to work, or if this just happened to be a good day.  There are still a number of potential side effects and longer-term effects to think about.  But, damn, we needed to have a good day. 

Thank.  God.

17 Responses to “Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs”

  1. Trudie July 30, 2008 at 10:13 pm #

    Keeping my fingers crossed that this was the first day of many good ones for you!

  2. yukonchatterbug July 31, 2008 at 7:40 am #

    I sat for for several minutes trying to think of what to write and not sound simplistic. I couldn’t come up with anything. I just hope that Jade has many more good days to come. You have my e-mail, don’t be shy to contact me if I can be of any help Fawn. I mean that. I’m a short walk away from your house.

  3. Nita July 31, 2008 at 8:03 am #

    Hi Fawn,
    I haven’t checked in with you for awhile, so was just catching up on Jade in your posts. I’m glad she had a good day yesterday. I hope she has another good day today. I’m working half days now, so am available to help out any way you need (including use of the car). I make a mean cup of tea, it that will help…

  4. maleesha July 31, 2008 at 7:20 pm #

    I can’t imagine how scary and unknown it must be. I hope and pray it will get better for you all soon, when they find the right combination for her.

    I do love the quote!

  5. SassySandra July 31, 2008 at 7:44 pm #

    Fawn, so very sorry to hear you have had to go throught this terrible ordeal. How awful for Jade and of course you and Michael. I hope things settle down soon so you can at least move on without wondering when the next ambulance ride will be.
    Keep your chin up, and I you will all be in my prayers.

  6. Chelle July 31, 2008 at 9:15 pm #

    I can’t imagine how scary that was. I’m glad she has such a good momma and sending some thoughts and prayers.
    Great quote…I really like it. Happy POW!

  7. mscot July 31, 2008 at 10:40 pm #

    I am glad that your little one had a good day but be careful of that medicine. it caused me to develop tartive disconesia (probably spelled wrong). I turned into a zombie and was drooling and my muscles all tensed up. luckily it was not permanent. it can be even after you quit the drug. There are some great drugs like neurontin and lyrica that don’t cause such horrible side effects. I will pray for you all. hope you have many more good days.

  8. carol August 1, 2008 at 12:43 am #

    Oh goodness I can’t imagine having to deal with that. Sounds like you guys are taking it in your stride. Good for you.

    Hope the new meds work out great for you all.

  9. happypizza August 1, 2008 at 1:05 am #

    God bless you! Loved your posts final line!

    Cheers :)

  10. DaniGirl August 1, 2008 at 5:23 am #

    Oh Fawn, this must be so hard on you and Jade. Hoping the new drug holds out.

  11. Kelly August 1, 2008 at 7:42 am #

    Take hope in one good day. My prayers are with you!

    Happy POW!

  12. Mamasphere August 1, 2008 at 9:26 am #

    My heart goes out to you. And my prayers to God that this medicine will be the one that finally makes a difference.

  13. lifeinthesack August 1, 2008 at 11:11 am #

    Your family is in my thoughts, you are clearly a very strong woman. Thank you from your daughter that may be too young to articulate this as of yet.

  14. Matt August 1, 2008 at 12:30 pm #

    Just found your blog and wanted to wish you the best. You’re in my prayers (really…I’m not just saying it as a cliche!)
    Funny quote, by the way!

  15. Asheya August 1, 2008 at 11:13 pm #

    I am crying a little bit for you just now (as I read the part about you crying after Jade’s seizure). I know there’s not much I can do, but I just want you to know that I feel for you. There are so many weighty decisions. Thank you for sharing this heartache on your blog. Love and a big hug (and blessings for a good night’s sleep).

  16. BookMamma August 2, 2008 at 9:46 am #

    I certainly hope this cocktail works out for her!! Hang in there and I’m sending good vibes your way…

    Happy POW!

  17. McMommy August 3, 2008 at 11:34 am #

    Oh Fawn! My heart just ached when I read how you bawled and rocked her. You are SUCH a good mom. Jade is so lucky to have such a loving mom.

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