Archive | September, 2008

This ‘n’ that

29 Sep

I’ve spent many hours at the computer this weekend, but almost none of them on my blog, so here’s a little update on life at the mo’.

Jade’s still having around 20 seizures a day, but her mood has been improving.  For the past week or two, she’d been behaving manically, swinging from happy to tantrum and back at the drop of a hat.  Very frustrating to live with.  We think it might be the Clonazepam and the neurologist suggested cutting it back again.  We’re also upping the valproic acid again.  The latest blood tests showed the drug has finally reached the “therapeutic range”, although it’s still at the low end.  We’re keeping our fingers crossed for improvements in the next little while.

We found out at the end of last week that our referral with the epilepsy specialist, Dr. Hah, will happen soon!  The appointment is set for next Friday and will be with both her and Dr. Demos.  They wanted both Michael and me to be there, since we’ll be discussing a number of things, including a kind of orientation to the ketogenic diet.  Since it takes a big commitment from the family for the diet to work, it’s important that we all be involved.  I was worried that Yukon Health wouldn’t allow both parents to go (normally a child is allowed just one “companion”) but apparently they will cover travel for both parents if it’s “medically necessary”.  The paperwork’s been submitted, so I just hope the evaluating doctor doesn’t think it’s not necessary for both of us to be there.  I’m sure one of the reasons the referral happened relatively quickly is because of Nugget.  By the end of October, I’ll no longer be allowed to fly. I’m so grateful to the BC Children’s Hospital for doing everything they can for us.

In the meantime, my own energy and mood still tends to rise and fall with Jade’s condition.  Leaving work a little earlier than the end of October is looking more and more appealing.  However, I have a couple of commitments that I really need to meet.  I have a report due for my biggest project at the end of this month.  Which would be, uh, tomorrow.  Which was why I spent almost 18 hours at the office this weekend.  However, since I spent the entire time in yoga pants (!) and there were no people distractions I was seriously productive.  (Between that and your encouragement, I believe there will be another pair of office-worthy yoga pants in my near future.  I mean, these ones have to be washed sometime.)  Michael was awesome being pretty much on his own with Jade all weekend.  I missed being with them, but I’m so looking forward to getting this report D-O-N-E.  It’s been a huge source of stress for me.

Michael’s folks were supposed to be visiting this week but they had to cancel because Michael’s Pop was in the ICU in Mississauga, unable to breathe on his own.  His mom has been there for the past week, being with Granny (who has lung cancer and just recently got moved to a care facility) and Pop.  We were so worried about Pop and of course disappointed to be missing a visit, but things started looking up today, with Pop finally coming off the ventilator for the first time in almost two weeks.  He had also been on a feeding tube the whole time and today got to eat “real food” — applesauce — for the first time since going into the ICU.  Apparently he wolfed it down with relish and when Marian observed, “But you don’t like applesauce,” he grinned and said, “I do today!”  So like him.

After the marathon weekend at the office, plus going in today (my usual day off), I’m definitely starting to lose steam.  But things seem to be looking up, so all I need is a good night’s sleep (am I perhaps asking for too much here?) and I’m sure I’ll be good as new.  Speaking of which…

Oh, wait!  Did I fail to mention that we had our first snowfall of the year this morning?

33 weeks pregnant

26 Sep

Here I am in all my yoga pants glory:

Nugget at 33 weeks

Here’s what BabyCenter.com has to say about Nugget this week:

This week your baby weighs a little over 4 pounds (heft a pineapple) and has passed the 17-inch mark. He’s rapidly losing that wrinkled, alien look and his skeleton is hardening. The bones in his skull aren’t fused together, which allows them to move and slightly overlap, thus making it easier for him to fit through the birth canal. (The pressure on the head during birth is so intense that many babies are born with a conehead-like appearance.) These bones don’t entirely fuse until early adulthood, so they can grow as his brain and other tissue expands during infancy and childhood.

I saw Heather on Monday and when she palpated my belly she told me that Nugget felt like a really good size for me. She asked me how big Jade was and when I told her she was 6 lbs Heather said, “This one’s a bit bigger.” Yikes!

But: earlier this week I was at our family doctor’s office to get Jade’s latest blood test results. I chatted with the receptionist, who told me she’s had five kids. (Wow!) My favourite part was when she said, “Bigger babies are easier to birth.” Really? I wanted to know why. “I don’t know,” she said. “I guess because they’re bigger, so there’s more pressure from the baby, so it’s not as much work to push them out.”

Given how easy I had it with Jade, who was tiny, this sounds hard to believe. I admit to being a bit nervous about birthing Nugget, just because this whole pregnancy has been a little harder, so I’ll take any good news I can get!

100% professional

26 Sep

It’s Friday today.  This is the Yukon and fashion isn’t most people’s biggest concern.  Many people wear jeans to work regularly, but I try to limit it to Fridays, just for the principle of it.

The sad thing is, my lovely maternity jeans, which I wore happily throughout Jade’s pregnancy, are no longer comfy.  Yes, my beloved mat jeans have joined the ranks of the Grumpy Pants.  Nugget is so low that the only pants that are comfortable now are the ones with the huge over-the-belly stretch panel that can be folded down… the kind of pants that usually fall down when you walk.

I have two pairs of dress pants in that style, and I wear a Bella Band to keep them up, but it’s still not comfortable.  (Maybe I need to get a bigger Bella Band…)  The only thing that is really comfortable are my Sportees yoga pants.  They’re what I change into when I come home from work and what I live in all weekend.  I miss them when I have to wash them, and they usually go straight from the dryer back onto my body — no languishing for weeks in the laundry pile for these babies.

They’re pretty new, so they’re still a nice dark black.  And so I have worn them to work today.

I KNOW!  I can’t believe I’m wearing what are essentially sweats to work.  But I’m pretending I’m not.  I’m wearing a nice top with a chunky necklace, along with black socks and dressy-ish shoes.  And given that we are in the Yukon, I don’t think anyone has noticed that I’m in yoga pants.  Or cares.

But you know what?  I was WAY more productive this morning than I have been in weeks.  Apparently, ability to breathe comfortably = ability to concentrate on work.  Hunh.  Another lesson for the Grumpy Pants files.  Maybe I really should go shopping…

Gumbi

25 Sep

I spent half the night on the couch as a toddler mattress. When we both went back to bed at 4:22 a.m. my whole left side was stiff and aching and I thought, “Ooooog.  My body’s not cut out for this type of thing these days.  Tomorrow’s gonna suck.”  (Yes, I am always this perfect and coherent and eloquent at 4 a.m.  S’truth.)  

But I feel totally normal this morning.  Phew.  

I know I have the miraculous ability to carry life inside my body and all that, but this morning this feels far more miraculous.  Hallellujah!

Microwave popcorn

24 Sep

First off, thanks for all your encouraging comments on the last post.  Jade seems to be doing better now; she had fewer seizures yesterday and the swelling on her face is more like a marble than a golf ball.  There’s still quite a bit to update on, but I’m going to take a break from that and instead tell you about a wonderful little snack I just discovered.

Microwave popcorn might not be new to you.  We used to buy it and have it when watching movies, but stopped that habit for some reason.  Then the news came out about nasty chemicals in commercial microwave popcorn and I was really turned off.  Even though I do love popcorn!

Months ago, I read somewhere that you can pop regular kernels using a simple brown paper bag.  I tucked that bit of information away in my brain somewhere, but just thought to take it out again a couple of nights ago.  I couldn’t remember the instructions and Michael’s computer wasn’t available, so I decided to just wing it.

I threw about a quarter cup of kernels into a brown paper bag, dropped in a tablespoon of salted butter, and hit the “popcorn” button on the microwave.  Well, whaddya know, it worked!  The butter did soak through the paper bag and got the turntable a bit greasy, but gosh-darnit, the popcorn was good!

A quick Google search (after the fact!) tells me that you don’t even need to add any butter or oil, since it’s the kernels’ internal moisture that causes the pop (Right! I knew that!), which would give you healthy, low-fat “air-popped” popcorn.  I loves me some butter, though, and a little dash of salt, too.  I’ve brought some to work as a snack for the last couple of days.  Mmmmm… now I look forward to snack time even more.  And that’s saying quite a bit for a pregnant chick.

Brown Paper Bag Popcorn

  • 1 brown paper bag
  • 1/4 cup regular popping corn
  • 1 tbsp butter (optional)
  • salt or other flavourings (optional)

Pour popcorn kernels into the brown paper bag.  Throw the butter in on top, if using.

Fold the paper bag closed, making two or three folds to secure.  You can also put in a single staple; apparently, there isn’t enough metal in one to cause any arcing or fires.  Put the bag in the microwave (with a paper towel underneath, if you’re using butter).  Note: I put my bag in on its side, but some Internet sources says standing it up is better.

Hit the popcorn button on the microwave.  Stand aside and watch as the butter seeps into the bag and gets spattered everywhere inside — you might even be able to see some of the kernels bouncing around in the semi-translucent bag! Stop the microwave when there are 1 to 2 seconds between pops.  You might want to use oven mitts to take the bag out.  Open it carefully, the steam is hot!

Season as desired and enjoy.

Rough weekend

23 Sep

Some days just seem to be calculated to make you feel like a bad parent, don’t they? Jade had a pretty rough weekend; we were back up to 20 to 30 seizures a day and she had a number of injuries that have just added up to make me want to cuddle her in bed all day.

The worst part is not knowing what to attribute the seizures to. She doesn’t seem to be fighting a cold, although she occasionally coughs, but that seems to be permanent with her — we all cough sometimes, right? She did have an increase in Clonazepam (we added a lunchtime dose on Saturday) but don’t know if that’s the link. She’s actually having a hard time getting to sleep, which may mean she’s more tired, which may explain the increased seizures. But we have to look back through her records to see if this happened after the last Clonazepam increases (I seem to remember the opposite) and it could be that whatever it is will only last a week or two. It’s just so hard to know; there are too many variables.

My heart was so heavy when we dropped Jade off at daycare this morning. First I had to wake her up; after a restless night, she was sleeping hard this morning. I’m scared to wake her up these days because I worry that I will cause seizures by interrupting her much-needed sleep. But I had to get to work and Michael had a dentist’s appointment, so I pulled the blanket off her and thank goodness she woke up gently and relatively happy; it’s heartbreaking when she cries to go back to sleep.

As I was getting her dressed, I noticed the right side of her face was swollen up like a chipmunk’s. That would be the result of one of her seizures yesterday evening. She was standing on a short stepladder watching me make supper. I knew she might have a seizure and was ready to catch her. Unfortunately, the one she had was so violent, it slammed her head into the top of the stepladder and then flung her back. She cut up her lip and must have hurt the inside of her cheek as well, judging by today’s appearance. There was blood everywhere as she sobbed her pain and kept seizuring. I cried right along with her, feeling completely inadequate. She’d already fallen down some stairs at the playground in the morning (not the result of a seizure and not a really bad fall, although she did a face-plant that had her mouth and eyes full of sand) and on Saturday she managed to poke a stick into her own face and leave a welt on her cheek. Although I wasn’t really thinking, I could feel that this weekend might just go down as one of the worst parenting weekends in history.

I called the daycare a few minutes ago and Jade does seem to be doing better today; despite her lopsided appearance, they haven’t seen any seizures yet today. I know they were watching her closely because a worker from the Child Development Centre was there to observe Jade (part of the developmental assessment we’re having done). With all the seizures yesterday, we ended up giving her a shot of Valium last night, so even though we continued to see a few seizures in the evening, it might be helping to calm down the seizure activity today.

I’m sorry this is another downer of a post. Ummm, on the bright side, Heather and Leah really did come for two hours on Saturday morning and left in their wake a shiny clean (if still messy) house. It was so relaxing to sit on the kitchen floor to play with Jade and look around and think, “Ahhhh, what a clean floor!” God bless them.

Grumpy pants

20 Sep

A little while ago I got home from work just as Michael had to take off for a business meeting.  It had been a long day and I was tired, but it wasn’t over yet.  I did the cooking, the child feeding, the bedtime routine, the whole bit.  And I waited for Michael to come home.  I was in my blue capri pants with a stripey blue top and I thought I’d just keep that outfit on until Michael got back because I wanted him to do a belly shot.  

Jade fell asleep and I decided to relax a bit before getting on with the dish-washing and lunch-packing part of the night.  Trouble was, I just couldn’t seem to settle down; I couldn’t get comfortable.

Finally, I decided to change into my “at-home uniform”: yoga pants and a comfortably loose top.  As soon as I slipped off the capris, I breathed a sigh of relief.  I suddenly realized that the band at the top of the pants had become too restrictive, maternity pants or no.  It was such a relief to get rid of the pressure, I instantly felt better… and realized that I’d had grumpy pants on all day.

So that’s where the expression comes from…

Still alive

17 Sep

Hi folks, and thanks for celebrating Jade’s seizure-free day with me on the last post.  She had another one (seizure-free day, that is) on Monday, but now has a minor cold so of course the seizure activity is up a bit again.  But I’m trying to stay focussed on the positive.  I can’t go back to where I was last week while Jade had those bizarre sores in her mouth.  I was so freaked out I actually went to talk to my HR person about stress leave.  I’m pretty tired today, and still anxious about all the work that needs to be done in the next month and a half, but at least I feel like I can forge on.

I think part of my weariness is actually blog withdrawal.  I have at least five or six blog posts in my head, but none actually written.  I’ve also forgotten at least one or two brilliant ideas.  (You know the ones you forget are the best ones, right?  And what a bummer that is.)  Norris is still working on deVistafying and I miss having my own computer.  But how can I complain when it’s far from straightforward and he’s doing it on his own time?  Nope, I won’t complain.  But I can pine.

The good thing about not having a computer — I guess — is that the dishes have actually been getting done every night.  Since Michael did some serious cleaning last weekend, that means our kitchen is actually looking fairly decent by our standards.  I don’t know… if I actually had my computer here, I think that price might be too high to pay.

Sorry for the lack of brilliance, but I’ve got to go pack our lunches for tomorrow, and plan supper, then get some sleep so that I can face yet another morning of trying to add “hurry” to a toddler’s vocabulary.

Too good to be true?

13 Sep

The day’s just half an hour from being over.  Jade is asleep.  Michael is in bed.  I should be, too, but I just had to pop on while the computer is free to say that TODAY may have been Jade’s FIRST SEIZURE-FREE DAY since the end of May!

Nothing will happen in the next twenty minutes to change that, right?

(!!!!!!) (inexpressible happiness)

31 weeks pregnant

12 Sep

(Coffee break time…!  I’m back at work today with just a tiny bit of a sore throat.  Thanks for your good wishes!)

I’ve been getting a lot of comments in the last few weeks from people expressing their disbelief that I’m not about to pop in the next week or two.  Listen, people, I’m short-waisted.  Besides making it hard to buy dresses, my short body means there’s nowhere for this baby to go but out, so there it is.

One of my colleagues also told me today that she thought the baby had dropped.  I was surprised when she said this because I hadn’t noticed — the top view of my belly hasn’t changed much.  But after thinking about it, I think she’s right.  Since about Thursday or Friday last week, the pressure points have changed, I just didn’t really think about them.  I’m not really feeling feet up in my ribs so much now, bending forward is a lot more difficult, and the whole baby-sitting-on-the-bladder thing is more pronounced.  Duh!

On Monday I had an appointment with my midwife, Heather.  I also got to meet Leah, a doula who works closely with Heather, who will also likely be attending Nugget’s birth.  I was in a bit of a rush during the appointment (meaning I had to leave in about an hour) because I had to take Jade to the doctor’s office, but it was still a great visit.  There was the “clinic” stuff, where I got to hear Nugget’s heartbeat (160 bpm) as well as actually listen to my placenta functioning (lots of gurgling, whooshing, underwater, bubbly sounds — how cool is that?!) and Heather determined that Nugget’s bum is up and head is down.  But there was the human part of the appointment, too, the part where she asked how I was doing, which wasn’t great that morning, since Jade was so sick, and the house is still in shambles, and hormones and well, you know, life.  So of course I bawled on her couch.  She gave me a thick wad of toilet paper and said she didn’t think she’s ever had a client pregnant with a second child NOT bawl her eyes out in her third trimester because her house is such a wreck.  And then she and Leah offered to come over and CLEAN MY HOUSE because it’s something a friend would do.  I think I cried even harder then.

Here’s what BabyCenter.com has to say this week:

This week, your baby measures over 16 inches long. He weighs about 3.3 pounds (try carrying four navel oranges) and is heading into a growth spurt. He can turn his head from side to side, and his arms, legs, and body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath his skin. He’s probably moving a lot, too, so you may have trouble sleeping because your baby’s kicks and somersaults keep you up. Take comfort: All this moving is a sign that your baby is active and healthy.

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