Bulgy went a-walkin’

3 Jan

You get to do a lot of people-watching when you have to wait in a grocery line-up for 30 minutes.  You also get to read all the headlines on the magazines in those racks by the cash registers.  I rather enjoy reading the gossipy titles of articles I’m not that interested in, often regarding people I’ve never even heard of.  It’s the literary equivalent of a potato chip.  Some of the titles are so tantalizing, even though the contents are undoubtedly fluffier than cotton candy.

While in the interminable line-up today (WHY did I go grocery shopping on a holiday Monday?!) one headline seemed to smack me upside the head:

“GET RID OF EMBARRASSING BACK AND BELLY BULGES”

it screamed.

Guess what?  I was at a party last week and was asked by two people if I was pregnant.  (I’m not, just in case you wondered.)  Clearly, the clothes that I was wearing combined with the delicious mom-cooked supper I had eaten combined to create quite the belly bulge.  Happily, I’m comfortable enough in my own skin that I wasn’t mortified.  In fact, I was highly amused.

Okay, maybe I should exercise a bit more — that’s true for most of us.  But telling me that my totally normal-looking body should embarrass me?  Is infuriating.

There’s no real point to this little rant.  We’ve all seen this headline and its five thousand and one variants.  And I’m certainly vain enough that, yes, I do spend time on my hair and makeup (not to mention clothes and jewellery).

But, to me, this kind of headline just sounds like bullying.  It makes me want to scream right back,

“STOP MAKING MY GIRLFRIENDS FEEL BAD, JERK!”

Hmm, if only problems could be solved by screaming, I’d have the whole world fixed by now.

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7 Responses to “Bulgy went a-walkin’”

  1. Catherine Forest January 4, 2011 at 7:42 am #

    Great great post, Fawn!! I love it!

  2. Megan January 4, 2011 at 8:03 am #

    Good for you, Fawn!

  3. Nemmy January 4, 2011 at 3:28 pm #

    Yes, this post definitely needs a “like” button! :D

  4. David January 5, 2011 at 10:59 am #

    omg – doesn’t every person on the planet know that you never ask a woman if they are pregnant ? EVER.

    • fawnahareo January 6, 2011 at 12:32 am #

      Thanks Dave!

      I recently read a Miss Manners article in which a reader inquired how one could ask about a potential pregnancy. The answer went something like this: “Darling, is it possible that you are soon to make me a proud father?” And if you aren’t in a position to phrase the question this way, you shouldn’t ask at all. :)

  5. Scientific Chick January 5, 2011 at 3:16 pm #

    I’m 100% with David on this one.
    Also, I hate those magazines.

  6. Megan January 6, 2011 at 5:33 am #

    My feeling is that you should only bring up the topic of someone else’s pregnancy if you can see a baby emerging from her at that moment.

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