The definition of good timing

9 Mar

…when your daughter, who is drinking way more than she ever has in her life (in an effort to prevent kidney stones) crawls into bed with you in the middle of the night and snuggles up, only to wake you an hour later because she peed in your bed.

…and the arm of your pajamas are soaked, so you strip her, and you strip yourself and put everything in the washing machine, and freeze a little as you dig a set of freshly-washed PJs out of the dryer.

…and you head back to the bedroom to check out just how bad your mattress is.

Then you’ll be glad you didn’t get around to changing the sheets on your bed this week. Well, that’s good timing, I guess, you might think to yourself.

Then…

…you wrestle with the heavy mattress, which has just one slightly-damp spot on it, because it really needed to be flipped and rotated, anyway.

…and you wonder where the heck your husband disappeared to as you grunt and sweat to flip the darned thing over.

…then you put fresh sheets on, and while you’re at it, change the pillowcases, too.

…and you trip all over the clothes lying about the floor as you switch from one side of the bed to the other, tucking the fitted sheet under, lining up the flat sheet, noting that it’s taking you a good 10 minutes to get it just right so that the scratchy Hudson’s Bay blanket is encased in the flat sheet so that it won’t grate your face in the night, thinking this would go so much faster if only another adult were around at the moment.

…and you finally, finally, settle back into bed, in those cool, crisp sheets, read the alarm clock (4:55), and switch off the bedside lamp.

Then…

…your husband walks in, having snuggled a very distraught girl back to peaceful sleep in her own bed.

Then you might tell him he missed all the fun of helping you change the sheets on your bed, and doesn’t he have excellent timing?

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5 Responses to “The definition of good timing”

  1. Jenny March 9, 2012 at 9:54 am #

    LOL. My husband would have heard me cursing him :) Naomi wet in a diaper earlier in the week and it had a strong odor so I just took it off and let her sleep (because I was lazy) and she ended up peeing again all over my right side. We got straight in the shower. Then I stripped the bed. Of course she was on top of all the covers when she did it so it went through quilt, electric blanket and top and fitted sheet! I have a mattress protector on my bed, on all our beds. I leaked so bad when I was breast feeding I learned after the 1st to have a water proof barrier.

  2. Opa March 9, 2012 at 10:57 am #

    Heeeheee, all the while, as the suspense started building, this comment started gelling in my mind: “Your husband, like most husbands, has an impeccable sense of timing”.

    And then, whoooosh, you steal it from me :-)

  3. Captain Momma March 13, 2012 at 9:17 pm #

    Nice one Michael!!

    The Bay blanket sounds warm and cozy though!

    Hope it was a good sleep when you got back to it :)

    Kelli

  4. Susan March 31, 2012 at 8:34 am #

    Just wanna say that I miss your blog entries and my morning ritual has changed! I used to read the online newspapers during the eating of my breakfast, and the blogs I follow during my first morning coffee. Somehow, my mornings seem a little emptier these days!

    • fawnahareo March 31, 2012 at 9:39 am #

      Awww, I’m sorry for that! You may be glad, though, that this latest post was not part of your breakfast ritual!

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