What I did today instead of blogging

27 Oct
  • Got Jade dressed, fed, and over to the next neighbourhood to catch the school bus.
  • Took Halia for two vaccines at the Health Clinic.
  • Took Halia out for lunch as a treat for being so good at having her shots.
  • Gave her four tiny bites of a coveted “chocolate mousie”.
  • Lived to regret it.
  • Picked Jade up from school during recess to take her to the audiologist.  Again.
  • Found out her left ear tube is still plugged up with ear wax.
  • Negotiated with Jade about not going back to school.
  • Went to a meeting at the MusicYukon office and attempted to keep Halia from disrupting someone else’s phone meeting while discussing invoicing and project evaluation.
  • Cooked supper.
  • Put the kids to bed solo, as it’s band night for Michael
  • Helped a neighbour stack his woodpile.
  • Packed Jade’s keto lunch and snacks and scrapers and tiny forks and straw and juice plus got breakfast ready to go.  (This kills me every night.  Why don’t I do this during the day?)
  • Sent two invoices for projects I’ve been working on.
  • Wonder why the heck I am writing this boring laundry list post.

At least I can see where the day goes…

The music fills my life

25 Oct

It’s noon and I’m still in pajamas.  Jade is at school.  Halia smells of blueberry shampoo.  I’m thinking about my rehearsal tonight, the gala dinner I’m playing music for tomorrow, the piano students I’ll be teaching right before that, the logistics of getting changed and over to the venue, the e-mails I have to send about the music showcases I organized last week…

When I quit my job in June, I was looking forward to a more balanced life.  One where I could feel like I was doing a good job as a mother, but still have time to develop myself as a musician.

Blogging has taken a backseat because in the wake of shedding my employed life, a thousand music-related things have rushed in.  I have never played so many gigs, attended so many workshops, organized so many shows, as I have in the past three months.

I’m not complaining, I’m just sort of stunned.

As I’ve been telling friends, I apparently still need to learn how to say no once in a while.  I thought quitting my job was a huge “NO” to things that fill up my life, but I’m learning there are still NOs I need to say.  I’m so excited to have all this good stuff happening to me, but still need to realize I can’t do it all.  And after attending the BreakOut West conference this past weekend (Read about it here on my new music blog.  As an aside, I feel like I have to find a new voice for that…) I am feeling I need to pick up the blogging ball again.  I’ve missed it, you know.

So, raise your cup (coffee for me) and let’s drink to the idea of finding balance, finding the “right” mix of music and mothering.  I might never achieve it, but I’ll give it my darndest.

Well, of course you did

29 Sep

Halia, holding a whole red pepper that has fallen to the filthy, dusty, dog-hair-covered kitchen floor: “Mama, can I eat the wed pawt on dis?”

Me: “No, Halia, it needs to be washed first.”

Me, noticing a bruise on the pepper and mistaking it for a bite mark: “Halia, did you already take a bite out of that?”

Halia: “No.”

Me: “Oh, good.”

Halia: “I licked it.”

Moving right along

27 Sep

I went to The Medicine Chest yesterday morning to have a prescription for Famiciclovir filled.  It took a few minutes, as these things do, and when it was ready, the pharmacist called me over.  I love our pharmacy.  The pharmacists really go above and beyond.  But it is rather difficult to have a private conversation at their counter.

“Okay,” she said.  ”This is an anti-viral drug.  It’s used to treat viral infections like cold sores.”

“Or shingles,” I said, since that is what I need treatment for.

“Right,” she said quickly, as if she wanted to pass right to the next point of discussion.  ”That too.”

It was only after I got home and started reading the medical information insert that I realized the other disease the drug is most often used to treat, besides shingles, is genital herpes.

Well, hunh.  I can see why the pharmacist didn’t want to bring that up.

Let me also add that, although I can’t tell you from personal experience, I bet genital herpes is no walk in the park.  But I can tell you, unequivocally, that shingles totally suck.

Perspective

29 Jul

It has been a hectic week.  Four of the five suitcases from our trip are still sitting, unpacked, on the basement floor.  I’ve spent a total of about 16 hours in the recording studio, which has been thrilling and exhausting at the same time.  Jade has been attending music camp for three quarters of an hour every morning, the sessions being just short enough that it doesn’t make sense to try to run errands as they unfold.

A few days after we got back, Halia came down with a fever and some kind of stomach bug and I got to reacquaint myself with the art of catching vomit with whatever happens to be available.  On top of that, she is in the throes of exploring preschooler independence, which manifests itself in saying mean things to Jade (which makes Jade cry), selective listening, tantrums, and teenageresque expressiveness.

“Halia, get off my chair,” I might say.

“Okaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy,” she’ll drawl back, her voice implying the rolling eyes she has not yet learned to do.

She’s a challenge for sure, and she tests my patience daily.  Hourly.

This morning I was thinking back to what Jade was like at this same age.  That puts us back in September of 2008, a time I try not to think too much about.  That was a month before Jade started on the ketogenic diet, a time where her seizures were getting progressively worse, the last month we had her in daycare before her seizures became so severe it was no longer safe to send her there.

I remember hearing friends bemoaning their children’s behaviour, who were doing exactly the same kinds of things Halia is doing now.  I remember thinking, “I would take those challenges over what Jade is going through.  Any day.”  I remember wishing I could complain about the same mundane things.

And here I am.  It’s exhausting, yes, but oh my… Right at this moment, I feel so damn lucky.

Where Nanuq went

29 Jul

For those who missed it, Michael tells the story of how we lost and found Nanuq here.

Nanuq is back!!

25 Jul

Whew, what a relief.  I’m getting lunch ready for the girls and heading off for a rehearsal for being in the recording studio, so no time to go into details right now.  But thanks sooo much to all who kept eyes open, fingers crossed, and well-wishes coming to us.

Nanuq is missing

25 Jul

Guys, we need your help.  We’ve been posting this message everywhere we can, hoping someone spots Nanuq.

Our dog Nanuq has been missing since yesterday afternoon from our place on in Hillcrest. He’s a blonde-coloured lab-husky mix, a large dog, but not huge at 60 lbs. He’s very friendly with people and may have followed someone if they encouraged him to go with them. He’s got food allergies, which makes his coat a bit patchy-looking, and he’s on medication for arthritis.

He has a narrow red collar on, but no tags, as we lost them a little while ago and hadn’t replaced them yet.

If you spot him, please give me or Michael a call at 456-7917.

Nanuq when he's happy and perky

Fuzzy from being wet

After playing in a muddy pond

Mom mornings

12 Jul

Jade is sleeping in the basement here at the cabin, so that she and Halia don’t disturb each other at bedtime, and because the basement is far cooler than the top bunk she was sleeping in upstairs.  Michael is sleeping with her down there, while I’m upstairs with Halia, with a fan pointed at my body to ward off the heat.

At 6:30 this morning, Jade climbed up the two flights of stairs and came into my room, weeping.

“I’m hungry!” she wailed.  This is my regular wake-up call most mornings.  But I shushed her groggily, not wanting Halia to be woken, not really wanting to wake up myself.

“Why didn’t you tell Papa you wanted breakfast?” I whispered to her.

“Because he’s still asleep,” she sobbed.

*sigh*

Black Donald Lake

9 Jul

We’re spending a week with family at Black Donald Lake, just outside of Calabogie, Ontario.  To get here, one must drive the Calabogie Road, which is ridiculously fun to say.  Try it.  Calabogie Road.  Calabogie Road.  Calabogie (Boogie Woogie) Calabogie Road!

Admit it, you’re smiling now.

We’ve crammed 8 adults and 8 kids into four bedrooms and we’re having a marvelous time.  Our spot on the lake has a great little shallow beach that is truly perfect for the kids, plus a play structure and a slanted “climbing wall” for when they tire of splashing in water and playing in sand.

There’s a long floating dock and a paddleboat and a canoe.  I finally had the opportunity, for just the second time in my life, to try paddling solo.  In our thirteen years together, I’ve done a lot of paddling with Michael, both on rivers and lakes; I long ago learned the J-stroke, the draw, the pry, the scull, the sweep… but never really got to see if I could actually steer a canoe for myself.

With so many other adults around, it was easy to make my escape and paddle to the spit of land a small way down the lake.  Coming back was more challenging, as I once again learned how much wind can affect the direction of a canoe, especially one so wide and so lightly-laden.  But I lived to tell the tale and even had time to think philosophically about my lifelong fear of failure and the damage perfectionism can do.

We’ve eaten like kings, having arrived with enough groceries to pack both the fridges here, plus a couple of coolers, not to mention all the unrefrigerated food overflowing over the laundry room counters.

It’s the first time, since our families have gelled into their current configurations, that we’ve had the chance to really spend time together, to really get to know each other.  And for the cousins to get to know each other, too.

In short, this truly feels like a vacation, and I can’t quite remember the last time I felt that.

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 27 other followers