The return of Aunt Flo

24 Jul
Well, the question is at rest and I didn’t even have to buy a pregnancy test.  I won’t try to pretend that I’m not disappointed.  In my mind I was totally convinced that I actually was pregnant again, but I suppose that might be partly because I really wanted it to be true.  And not just so that I could have an excuse for being so clumsy and forgetful lately.  I guess I just have to chalk that stuff up to being too busy between work and parenting to have any brain cells left over, especially last week with Michael (and Norris and Charmaine) out of town.
 
It is actually possible that I was very briefly pregnant and that it ended for some reason, something that happens to women more often than you might think.  However, based when I think my cycle started last month, it’s probably not the case.
 
One of the "symptoms" that I’ve been having is nausea, especially when I’m starting to get hungry.  (In fact, I’m feeling a bit queasy right now…)  That made the ride back from Dawson City yesterday start off as a pretty miserable trip, riding the crimson tide of disappointment and feeling green.  Michael tried to console me, which just irritated me (sorry, honey!) as I wanted sympathy, not a solution.  I know it will seem ridiculous to some people that I am mourning a might-have-been I created in my own imagination, especially when so many couples out there are battling infertility, while we already have a daughter and didn’t even have to try very hard to get pregnant with her.  But I just needed a day to adjust my expectations.  And besides, I felt sick to my stomach, and who doesn’t feel pitiable when they think they’re going to toss their cookies? So now that I’ve had my little pity party, I can move on…
 
Anyway, one of the silver linings?  Next month I won’t have to wonder when or if it’s time to test,  ’cause this time I’ve already marked the calendar.
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2 Responses to “The return of Aunt Flo”

  1. Nemmy July 24, 2007 at 12:16 pm #

    *Hugs*

  2. Selena July 25, 2007 at 1:12 am #

    It\’s only natural to be disappointed after the possibility of another little Fawny/Michael hybrid being on the way. But rest assured that when the time is right, he/she will be waiting to tumble down to Earth. 🙂 Besides, this gives Jade to get out of her dirt and poo phase and you won\’t have to worry so much about her teaching her sibling bad habits like digging for toys in the litter box! Then again, she might just try and do it anyway – you never know with kids…

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