Feelin’ Faint

2 Nov

I called my family doctor yesterday to confirm that he doesn’t do prenatal care.  The secretary said I should come in anyway, and he can give me a referral to a doctor who does.  I figure I wanted to go in anyway, and confirm that I can’t have the full physical (including Pap and pelvic exam, oh joy!) that I was planning to have.  So I went in this morning.

The doctor talked to me a bit about taking vitamins and smoking and alcohol (stuff he has to tell me) and we also discussed breastfeeding vs. weaning.  He’s encouraging me to wean Jade slowly, but I think I’ll just see how things go.  I was thinking of weaning slowly after the Mexico trip anyway.  Breastfeeding requires about 500 calories a day (though I doubt I need that much with the little that Jade is feeding these days) and pregnancy requires about 300 calories a day.  So theoretically, I can eat an extra 800 calories a day above what a "normal" non-pregant woman needs.  Too bad chocolate bars don’t count as good calories.

At the end of the visit, the doctor asked me for a urine sample so that he could confirm the pregnancy.  After a few minutes, he asked me back into the office and he said he couldn’t get a positive on the test he was using.  This didn’t ruffle me too much because I’ve been drinking copious amounts of water today, so it’s not very surprising that the hormone would be pretty dilute, especially this early in a pregnancy when there’s not much being produced.  Besides, I’ve already had a positive home pregnancy test and it’s nigh on to impossible to get a false positive.  That little strip can change colour only if hGC is present in the urine, and it’s present only when one is pregnant.  Still, he wants me to bring another container of pee to him on Monday or Tuesday morning, because in order to do a referral, he needs to be able to write down the positive test.  As his assistant was finding me a container, the doctor came back and said he could see a very, very faint line.  So I should be reassured, right?  My friend Rachelle had this exact same thing happen to her.

Despite reason, the episode gives me those unpleasant "what if" thoughts I really don’t want to carry around with me.  Like "what if" I have a miscarriage?  "What if" it’s a blighted ovum like my friend Jen had?  "What if" I have to tell everyone the bad news?  I also have a fear that thoughts like this can bring about the very thing I don’t want to happen, so I’m trying to get it out of my system.  The fact is, there’s no reason to worry, and there’s nothing sillier than worrying unneccessarily.

Okay, I’m off to whistle "Don’t worry, be happy."

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