“E-nfatuation”

12 Feb

I’ve enjoyed all the comments you made on the “First Kiss Controversy” post, so I am inspired to continue the Valentine’s week theme today.

I once heard a guy on the radio saying that if he’d been a teenager in the days of the rotary phone (hey, we had one of those!) he would never have gone on any dates.  It takes so much more time to dial a number on a rotary phone, he said he would have lost his nerve before getting to the end of the number.

The story makes me laugh, but it has a ring of truth to it.  I think back to my high school dating years and the amount of time I spent crafting perfectly-thought-out notes to guys about my thoughts on our relationship.  This often involved a rough draft with many revisions and transpositions and crossings-out, and then a “good copy” written out as neatly as possible.  You can imagine the hours of work that took.  But it was important to me because I knew I wouldn’t be able to articulate all my thoughts in a face-to-face.  (I like to think that I’ve matured since then, both on the over-analysis front, and on the ability to have a good, frank discussion on important matters.)

Anyway, where I’m going with this is, I wonder how it would have changed things if e-mail had been available at that time? Or texting, or whatever future development it is that Jade’s going to be growing up with?  In high school, I once used a letter to break up with a long-time boyfriend.  I know that sounds cold, but I couldn’t face him when I’d just found out he’d slept with some girl. (AFTER I’d already forgiven him for doing it with another girl months earlier and made all the harder by the fact that I was still a virgin.  Ah, the drama of high school.)

But doesn’t a break-up by e-mail seem even worse?  Somehow the time and effort it takes to craft a hand-written letter offsets at least a bit of the coldness.  Plus with a letter you could actually decide to sit with the person while they read your point of view.  As a teenager, would I have made a distinction between a letter and an e-mail?  Would I even think of hand-writing anything?

What about asking someone out?  Would e-mail make it easier for someone to get up the nerve?  The first guy who was ever a “boyfriend” asked a friend to ask me out for him.  (God, it makes me laugh to remember this stuff!)  Maybe a text message would make the whole thing less stressful.

Whew!  All of this makes me glad to be out of the dating game.  But I do wonder what the minefields of romance will look like for our kids as they start growing up.

Okay, maybe I’m not over the whole over-analysis thing yet. 😉

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5 Responses to ““E-nfatuation””

  1. Jenny February 12, 2008 at 2:13 pm #

    Oh, I’m going to have to look at the first kiss post when I get time. I’m sure there are some good stories.

  2. Tine February 13, 2008 at 2:42 am #

    Well, after attending Drawing School with all those teenagers (while already being 27 or 28 myself …), & drying their tears every time someone broke their hearts, I got a bit of an impression how things are working our nowadays … I guess you’re right: Texting makes it easier to ask someone out, but the other way around it feels even worse to get dumped that way …

  3. IndyComp0T1 February 13, 2008 at 6:33 am #

    I once broke up with a guy over the phone, and I thought that was a great idea because I wouldn’t have to face him. Unfortunately, he didn’t take it so well and balled me out for doing such an insensitive thing (according to him, I should’ve done it in person). In hindsight, I should’ve done it over e-mail.

    I definitely agree with you that it’s far easier to spill one’s guts in writing. When we’re in our teens or early 20s, it’s hard to really articulate one’s feelings verbally, so writing them down certainly takes away some of the burden.

  4. kaiserreich February 13, 2008 at 5:27 pm #

    You are a Sweet Lady. A Kiss from me to you!
    Bye.

    Your, Daniel (from Germany)

  5. Nemmy February 15, 2008 at 12:33 pm #

    Hehehe… try getting dumped over MSN, like a certain ex did to me. The trouble is that even over MSN, he couched things in such a way as that I wasn’t even sure at the end if I was being dumped or not.

    As to writing things down, I used to, mainly because I’m such an emotional person that anything remotely controversial always sent me into tears, and thus unable to sound the least bit rational… Thankfully, age has helped me control that a bit better. Though that Tim Hortons commercial with the Asian dad gets me every time…

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