Worn out

1 May

I am breathing a sigh of relief today because, well, I can. I’ve been struggling with wardrobe issues for a couple of weeks as my belly is already taking up so much more room and even I can’t fool myself into thinking it’s the pants that are shrinking. I’ll be hitting 12 weeks tomorrow, still a couple of weeks away from the second trimester, and I’m not nearly ready to start into maternity clothes yet.

This morning I peeked into my bin of maternity clothes that I recently got back from a friend. Happily, I rediscovered the size 15 cords I bought after Jade was born when I was desperately bored with my mat jeans but couldn’t yet fit back into my pre-preggo stuff. Lovely, lovely, creamy (and stretchy!) cords. It’s so liberating to be able to breathe when I’m sitting down. Can I live in a single pair of pants for the next 4 weeks or so? I have a feeling I won’t be able to make it to 16 weeks, like I did last time, before breaking out the maternity pants. Which is sad because the danged maternity pants will feel too big and will be falling down all the time when I start wearing them.

But enough about wardrobe.

Another reason I am breathing a sigh of relief is because the stupid, gol-darned taxes have finally been filed. Yes, I got it done at the very last possible moment. I’ve never filed my taxes so late before, most years panicking if I didn’t have them done before the end of March. This year, the whole tax filing process, which I started working on two months ago, was a litany of not-very-funny errors, computer crashes, wiped-out hard drives, bookkeeping issues, administrative screw-ups, and filing woes. But now they’re done. So we can start look forward to being audited or something. Ha!

If I sound a little less than my usual cheery self today, it’s probably because I am feeling like an old shoe. I’m absolutely worn out and wondering if I should really just go home and go to bed. (Okay, yes, I’m at work, but I’m on my break now, okay?)

I took Jade to the doctor yesterday morning to check on one of her chicken pox spots that had an angry purple circle around it; I was concerned that it had somehow gotten infected. When I picked Jade up from the daycare, they told me that one of the workers there had also had chicken pox last week while Jade was at home. Surprising because she should have been immune to them. But I’ve been hearing all sorts of horror stories about recurring chicken pox over the last few weeks.

It was the first time I’d met Dr. Albertini, a jovial grandfatherly type who kept calling me “Mama” and told me I was a good mother. He reassured me that Jade’s purple welt was just a bruise, possibly caused by scratching or some trauma (like walking into a toy) because the skin around the pox marks is more delicate than usual. I asked him about recurrence of chicken pox and was told that, while rare, it can happen if one’s immune system gets depressed. He said that usually happens when people push themselves too hard and don’t get enough rest.

This is going to sound so hokey, but I was so determined to stay healthy at least long enough to be able to perform on Saturday that I’ve been actively sending myself positive thoughts for the past couple of weeks. When I felt tired and worried about getting sick, particularly after spending a couple of hours with Jade breathing her virus-laced breath into my face, I’d fiercely redirect my thoughts, imagining a great performance and myself the picture of health.

I don’t know if it helped, but now with the dance behind me, the brunch on Sunday, Michael’s going away and the epic bike ride on Monday, Big Band rehearsal on Tuesday, and finally taxes yesterday, suddenly I’m finding myself totally drained. I wonder if I’ve pushed myself a bit too hard. I wonder, if my immunity tank had a gauge on it, what it would read. Because I don’t have enough juice left to jolly myself into a better frame of mind. Also, I can’t seem to stick to a topic on this blog post. Which has got to say something.

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5 Responses to “Worn out”

  1. shannon May 1, 2008 at 5:01 pm #

    they should make maternity suspenders for those annoying pants!!! i’m sure they MUST!!??

    yes, sounds like you’ve pushed yourself very, very hard! TAKE A BREAK!!!!

  2. IndyComp0T1 May 2, 2008 at 5:13 am #

    If you’re not quite ready to go the maternity pants route but your pre-pregnancy pants are too tight, I would suggest getting yourself some Bella Bands. I totally swear by them. I’ve mentioned them ad nauseum in my blog, but I’ll do my pitch again. 🙂 The good thing about them is that you can wear them over top your pre-pregnancy pants. Just wear your pre-pregnancy pants unzipped, and pull the Bella Band over the zipper to cover it up. You can also wear them with maternity pants, for that annoying transition period where the maternity pants are too big on you.

    For more info: http://www.ingridandisabel.com/

    Store locations: http://www.ingridandisabel.com/stores/canada.html

    It looks like they’re not sold in the Yukon (at least not according to the Web site), and they’re only sold at ONE spot in the NWT (a Shoppers in Yellowknife – kinda far for you :P). If you Google it, you’ll probably find a few online stores that sell them.

    Alternatively, if there’s a Motherhood Maternity near you, you can buy their knock-off product. The only sucky part is that it comes in one color, but it’s better than nothing.

    Hopefully that helps!

  3. Lindsay May 2, 2008 at 6:34 am #

    They do make suspenders http://bellylaughs.ca/catalog.php?item=218. I could get some for you and send them. And what about your belly bands? Didn’t you buy one for yourself as well? Perhaps that would help and you could keep your buttons open or use them to hold up your pants. Seriously, I’m with Shannon, take a break.

  4. fawnahareo May 2, 2008 at 2:16 pm #

    I guess I didn’t start reading your blog until after you’d got bast the Bella Band stage, Indy, because I don’t remember ever reading about them on there.

    I do have one and have tried it once but wasn’t that thrilled with it. My trouble is that I am very short-waisted, so I kind of have to tuck it under my bra band. I tried folding it over, but then it wasn’t very comfortable and the line on my belly showed. But maybe I just have to experiment some more. I can definitely see it coming in handy as a “belt” for keeping up the mat pants.

    I got Lindsay a “Belly Hugger” from a store in Ottawa that was made with more of a cottony stretch material than the Bella Band and I wonder if it would be more comfortable.

    Lindsay, those suspenders are so funny! I would think that with the weight of my pants, they would end up tugging uncomfortably on the bra! But I bookmarked that site because it’s nice to find another Canadian store that sells baby stuff. I’m excited to see they have the Adiri nursers there… I’d been thinking about trying them.

  5. Kimberly August 27, 2008 at 8:01 pm #

    I had the same problems with maternity fitting issues, so I made some maternity suspenders of my own that worked really well for me. If you’re interested, you can check them out at http://www.maternitytuggs.com. They go over your shoulders, so they don’t pull your bra down while pulling your pants up.

    Good luck!

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