All alone

16 Aug

Later this week, Michael will be taking Jade to Vancouver for a follow-up EEG and visit with her neurologist.  Even though I’ll be at work, I was actually — just a wee bit, you understand — sort of, kinda looking forward to having a few days with no child-wrangling duties.  I figured we’d spend this weekend recovering from our camping trip (all the sleeping bags have to be washed, not to mention the mountains of laundry we managed to produce) and maybe doing some stuff as a family.

Our friend Eric phoned this morning, though, and proposed that he and Michael go canoeing on the Takhini with Jade and his son Elias, who is the same age.  At first, both Michael and I felt nervous about it.  What if Jade has a toddler breakdown and I’m not there to help?  What if she has another major seizure?  What if, what if…?

But Jade loves being out in the canoe.  I don’t think I can fit a life-jacket on over the Nugget bump anymore, and beside, two adults and two toddlers fit nicely into a canoe.  With me along, Eric would need to rent a canoe and find a canoeing partner and suddenly the logistics are a lot more complicated.  Eric and Michael are both great dads, so really, what is there to worry about?  Nothing.  Right?  Nothing.

It takes about 45 minutes to drive out to the put-in point, and they’ll have to drop off a vehicle at the take-out before they can even think of actually putting the canoe in the water.  It’s quite a bit of running around to do before actually getting on the river, so they wanted to leave as quickly as possible, otherwise it would be getting too late in the afternoon.  Michael packed the canoeing equipment into the car while I buzzed around packing extra clothes, diapers, emergency medication, napping essentials, and lunch.  With all the activity, trying not to forget anything, there was no time to think about anything else.

But when Michael and Jade pulled out of the driveway and cheerfully waved goodbye… well, I felt strangely bereft.  I have an unexpected day off with just the dog and the Nugget-bump.  There’s still that pile of laundry to do.  It’s a beautiful sunny day.  I have a good book from the library.  Eric’s wife is planning to come over to visit later on…

But right at the moment, I have no idea what to do with myself.

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3 Responses to “All alone”

  1. maleesha August 17, 2008 at 7:10 am #

    It’s funny that so many moms find themselves idle with free time…it’s like we think “shouldn’t I be cleaning/feeding/soothing something?”

  2. MommyTime August 17, 2008 at 8:37 pm #

    I hope you found something wonderful, relaxing, peaceful, enjoyable to do — *please* tell me you didn’t spend that time just doing laundry!?!? And I hope they had a wonderful day too. A little recharging time is always a gift. Hugs to you.

  3. IndyComp0T1 August 18, 2008 at 8:25 am #

    I feel your pain. Sometimes when we put our little one down for a nap during the day, I don’t know what to do with myself. Rather than taking some me-time, I wind up in super cleanup mode! Sometimes I manage to talk myself into some me-time, but that doesn’t happen as often as I’d like.

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