Herding cats

2 Sep

It’s lunchtime. It’s time to take a break. It’s time to savour some food and catch up on my e-mails. In short, it’s a time that’s completely the opposite of most work mornings.

Mornings go more like this:

Are you done with your breakfast? No? Okay, I’ll just go pack our bags. Where’s your… Oh, you ARE done? Yes, I’m coming to help you down. Just a minute while I… Yes, just WAIT!

Okay, let’s wipe your hands first. No, that’s not a boogie, that’s a piece of oatmeal. No, it’s… Okay, fine it’s a boogie. Uh oh. Did you go poop? No? Whew. Well, do you have to go to the potty? Are you sure? How about I give you a cookie if you go on the potty? Yay! What a big girl!

No. No. No more. You can have another cookie when you go pee or poo in the potty. No. No more cookies.

All done? Good girl! No, you didn’t pee or poo in the potty. Let’s go get our jackets on! No, this way. THIS way. Okay, you can take your baby with you. Put your arms out. Arms OUT. Stand UP! Stop pulling my scarf, that’s not nice. Stop it. STOP! Can’t you stand still for just one minute?

{If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands! If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!} Okay, Mama’s got her coat on, let’s go. We have to go, sweetie. Out the door. Yes, you can take your baby with you. Out. OUT. Nanuq, STAY! Out!

Let’s go to the car. No, I can’t carry you, my back is sore and I already have three bags. What? Your back is sore? Does your back need a kiss? Okay, there you go. Now let’s get in the car. Baby wants a pinecone, does he? Okay, you’ve got the pinecone. Now get in the car. Mama’s in a hurry, sweetheart. We’re late. No, you don’t need that leaf. GO TO THE CAR!

It goes on, but I’ll spare you the details. When will I learn that a two-year-old can’t be hurried?

If you haven’t already, you’ve got one more day to comment on the delurking post for your chance to win the giveaway!
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7 Responses to “Herding cats”

  1. Kara September 2, 2008 at 12:35 pm #

    ahahahah so true!!!! Hunter gets so distracted by everything now, especially the stairs. We are trying to put on our shoes and coats and he is busy climbing up the stairs at lightning speed.

  2. Mamasphere September 2, 2008 at 12:55 pm #

    This is hilarious! It would take us longer to get out the door than to get where we were going. Still does, actually, only now I have a four year old who tries to explain to me why what she’s doing is just so darn important that it has to be done before we can leave. It’s exhausting.

  3. taibhsearachd September 2, 2008 at 2:13 pm #

    Brings back memories! Actually, fresh memories: it’s not much better getting my 15 year old out the door!!

    Oh no! And here I was hoping it would get better! (Actually, sometimes getting Michael out the door is like this, too…)

  4. Captain Momma September 2, 2008 at 2:32 pm #

    Whewfff! I thought I was the only one lately with that speech!! And mine is 3. Sorry! A lot longer yet! Just wait till they start talking back or telling you to do the things you tell them to do :S

    How do we make it through some days???

    Kelli

  5. Geof Harries September 2, 2008 at 7:33 pm #

    Glad to hear you’re not the only parent going through this struggle on a daily basis. Just wait until there’s two of them….or more. They team up and take you on all sides.

    Everyone’s always so very encouraging about the multiple children thing…!

    At least when Jade was smaller and I wasn’t so pregnant I could just whisk her around by simply picking her up. Now that I’m forced to let her be a little more independent things have taken a definite turn for the slow. I need a cattle prod or something.

  6. Captain Momma September 2, 2008 at 8:32 pm #

    Hi Fawn,

    Not sure where to answer your question to my blog, so I came here.

    We are living in a camper through the winter. Why? We’re crazy. Ok, actually, I retired from the military and we moved south with no job. As soon as we got to PG, hubby got the call from up north and accepted job at a mine, b/c we were footloose and fancy free and needed money and no jobs were to be had here. We couldn’t get a mortgage b/c of non-permanent job. We had to be mobile when we got here so we could look for work in BC and bought the trailer with me willing to do it for 1 year if need be.

    We still have a non-permanent job with the mines, we are paying off the last of the debt, this keeps us mobile and we have no idea what God wants for us right now. We have peace living in camper and bought a winterized one.

    It sucks lugging laundry. I shall attempt tomorrow but my back is in bad shape 😦 At least hubby comes home Thursday!

    While everyone finds us crazy, we don’t care. I love my little house. It has all it needs, except laundry. Little guy is really good and rarely wets the bed anymore. Its my home and home is where your heart is and what you make your home.

    Hope that brings you up to speed!! Take care,

    Kelli

  7. Nem September 3, 2008 at 4:46 pm #

    Sounds like the makings of a one-woman show. You could take it on tour! 😀

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