Ships in the night

16 Dec

So many bloggable moments, so little blogging time.  In between feedings and hyper-emotional teething toddlers, there are Christmas preparations to make.  That means sending out cards, figuring out a keto menu for Jade’s Christmas dinner, finding last year’s returned Christmas letters (and realizing I’m going to be getting some of this year’s cards back as well), and getting the house organized to accommodate the rest of the family that will be here.  (Have I mentioned that my dad, sister, and brother-in-law will join my mom here for Christmas?  I haven’t?  I don’t know why.  I’m SOOOO excited!)

Also keeping me from the blog is the fact that I’m missing half the day because I usually get out of bed around 10:00, 10:30 — and sometimes even ELEVEN — these days.  I know, I’m spoiled.  I am totally taking advantage of the fact that I don’t have to be sleep-deprived while my mom is at our house.  Only two weeks left before I have to start getting up earlier.

Michael and I are not seeing much of each other these days.  At all.  We haven’t even slept in the same room in about three weeks.  Jade is continuing her multiple wakings each night (with one or two nights excepted) and, of course, Halia needs her night-time feeds.  There’s no sense in both of us parents waking up for each one of both children’s wakings, so we’ve taken to separate rooms so that we can catch as much rest in between wakings as possible.  Which means I’m still getting more sleep than Michael.  Jade’s wakings take longer to deal with, and Michael has to get up at 7:15 to get her “breakfast” and medicines into her.

By the time I get up, Michael’s often back in bed (with Jade in my mom’s care) either catching up on sleep or else working on his laptop, since our bedroom is the most peaceful and least kid-trafficked area of the house.

Is this normal?

Apparently, yes.  A friend of mine just told me that she and her husband haven’t slept in the same room since her second child was born eight months ago!  Ack.  (Although, she is newly pregnant again, so they must find times for, ahem, conjugal visits.)

At least I usually get to see Michael at supper-time.  We even sometimes manage a little conversation in between mouthfuls of food.  Ahhh, the blissful life of the married with children.

6 Responses to “Ships in the night”

  1. bubble&squeak December 16, 2008 at 8:21 pm #

    Fawn, I hope you get around to fitting in some ‘couple’ time with your hubby. Despite our two boys (5+ and 1), we always try to steal some time for each other. Sometimes we deliberately stay awake, sacrificing precious sleep in the process, just to watch a DVD together. All the while we have our baby monitor tuned in to the little fellas.
    Granted, we usually don’t finish our dvds in one sitting but it is the closest thing to a date and I look forward to it very much.
    After the terrible lack of sleep I had with the first one (3 years of multiple wakings EVERY night with night terrors included!), my body is battle-worn to the effects of waking up for feedings etc and I can even get by pretty well on only 5 hours sleep a day. All I need to spring into action is a squeak from Little Squeaky. I try consciously try ignore him of I can because it does encourage him but I’m definitely on-call. Can’t explain it, must be a mummy thing.
    I am usually out of bed by 7am and am often only in bed by 2am because I also have my work but you know what, I really love being the mother-of-two. I just feel amazing that I’m handling it so much better the second time round! I am constantly on an adrenaline-fuelled high and amazed that I can fit so much into 24 hours. I’m so grateful that, like most mothers, I can multi-task quite well.
    Anyway, write and leave little love notes (in his lunch box, wallet…) if you can for Michael just to remind him you’re there for each other. It really helps because a marriage is as important as the kids too.
    BTW, a happy Christmas to you and the family. Is it snowing over there?

  2. bubble&squeak December 16, 2008 at 8:28 pm #

    Apologies for the errors in my last comment. I am such a bad typist and I type really fast and often forget to edit before sending my comments off. Combine that with relative computer illiteracy and a blogger that does not make! That’s why I am a bloggee and not a blogger. I’ll leave the blogging to word wizards like you. 🙂

  3. Kara December 16, 2008 at 9:18 pm #

    Well I am glad you two are still surviving all of it! I think I would go bonkers 8 months and no hubby in the same room??? Even three weeks would seem a lot. I find it so hard when Matt is away working. Hunter did sleep in our room for the first couple of months, but in his own bed. We don’t co-sleep at all, other than now when Hunter wakes up at 5am I sometimes throw him in bed with me to get a few more winks!! I think that hubby time in bed is important- even if it is just sleep!! But lets see how I do when Skeletor arrives!!

  4. Malva December 17, 2008 at 4:56 am #

    I feel a novel coming on, sorry. 🙂

    Have you thought about putting all the beds in one bedroom? At least until Jade sleeps better?

    Up until a few months ago we had both kids sleeping in their own beds but in our room. Then the 9yo finally decided she was old enough to be moved to her own roo. She’s slept in her own room on and off since she was 3yo but after she spent an entire summer a couple years ago waking us up every night and finishing the night on the floor in our room, I got fed up and told her we were moving stuff around and she was going to be sleeping in our room… The things I’ll do for sleep!

    The 3yo still sleeps in our room, his toddler bed is pushed right against our bed and he’ll just climb over to our bed if he wakes up, some nights it doesn’t even wake me up.

    When the new baby gets here in March, it (isn’t it terrible I don’t have anything better than “it” to call him/her?) will sleep between his dad and I.

    It may not work for everyone but it works for us! Best way we’ve found to sleep soundly is to have whichever kid(s) who wakes up nearby.

  5. Jenny December 17, 2008 at 7:08 am #

    My hubby and I parted ways….. man it’s been so long now I can’t remember when it started! Naomi sleeps with me, he sleeps with our son. Thank goodness both rooms have Queen size beds. Now.. my dream home would have 2 master bedrooms, plus rooms for the kids. To have my own bed and not be woken by his alarm…..heaven.
    Of course I’ve usually been awake with Naomi for at least 20 minutes when his alarm goes off now! She’s getting up by 5!! UGHHHHHH

  6. Bubblybunny December 17, 2008 at 9:38 pm #

    We stopped sleeping together in the same bed since I was pregnant, probably started in my last trimester. Our bed is too high and too soft for me to get up/down or even roll around. I slept in the spare bedroom while Hubby sleeps in our bed. The guest bed is too small for both of us but he did make a point to join me on weekends. 🙂 After my baby was born, recovery was long and difficult, so I continued to stay in the guest bedroom, which also made it easier for both of us during night feeding. I’ve only recently moved back into our own bed a few weeks ago. Oh…it was so nice! I LOVE our bed, so soft and warm…oh yeah, and Hubby is there too! 😀

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