Confessions of a bad mother

12 Jan
  • I let the the kitchen counter gets covered in dirty dishes, pots, and pans — quite an achievement considering we’re hardly cooking anything since we’re getting food contributions from neighbours and still have a cooler full of frozen meals.
  • I’m starting to hate Mondays and Thursday because I try to keep the kids from under Michael’s feet all day (because he’s working) and then I have them all evening (because he’s at band).
  • I sometimes let the baby cry in the swing or in her bed while I finish reading my blog feed.
  • I sometimes go for three days without showering.  My most recent shower (not saying when it was) involved the baby in a seat outside the shower stall and the toddler on the floor of the shower.  This kind of thing does not make me eager to have another shower even though I hate the way my hair feels.
  • I don’t eat enough fruits and veggies and I don’t drink enough fluids.  I’m totally aiming for hemorrhoids and kidney stones.
  • The baby spends a lot of her non-sleeping time in her swing cradle.  Sometimes I wonder whether she’s not getting enough human contact.
  • I’ll wear the same clothes for a week.  Even the socks.
  • The baby hardly ever gets any tummy time.  She doesn’t like it and I can’t stand more crying when most days I already have an emotional toddler, too.
  • My blog is neglected, leaving far-away family out of the loop of my kids’ lives.
  • Some days I don’t let the toddler wear panties even if she asks for them because I know she’s not going to pee in the potty and I just don’t want to deal with another panty-load of poo.  Just. Can’t. Do. It.
  • I have been very bad about giving the baby her Vitamin D every day.  She hasn’t had a dose in over a week.
  • Many afternoons, I have no idea how to fill the time with my (almost) 3-year-old.  The amount of television (or online videos) she has watched in the last three months surpasses the amount of television she got for the entire first two and a half years of her life.

Don’t worry.  I know I’m not really a bad mother.  On days when I’ve had plenty of sleep and the girls’ schedules are meshing, I think, “Hey, this isn’t so tough after all.  Even if the laundry and filing isn’t getting done…”  Other days, I feel like a drudge with an uninspiring to do list a mile long and zero human contact.  Guess what kind of day this is?

14 Responses to “Confessions of a bad mother”

  1. Cathy January 12, 2009 at 9:17 pm #

    Fawn – thanks for commenting on my keto blog. I quickly linked to this blog and…… I love it! You’re hilarious! Your pictures are beautiful!

    Guess what? I think you’re a completely normal Mom. In fact, it sounds like me sometimes…. Today I didn’t shower until 6:15 pm. Uuuggh.

    Have a great day! Stay in touch!
    cathy (family blog)

  2. myra36 January 12, 2009 at 10:01 pm #

    Great post! I can totally relate to everything mentioned. This put a smile on my face. Take care!

  3. Jamie January 13, 2009 at 4:04 am #

    Two kids is hard, eh? Guess what? It doesn’t get any easier. At least your kids still get along all the time. Well, actually, some of it will get easier, and other things will get harder. I can remember feeling most of what you said, I think it is pretty common when new babies come home (regardless of how many other children are home). Here are two things that might help a little, at least they do for me.

    #1: When the baby is sleeping put her in her crib and take Jade in the shower with you. Tell her to grab a toy or two and the two of you will end up with a few minutes of private time together. You will both benefit from this! She will love having you all to herself for a few minutes and you will enjoy it too (maybe not as much a shower all by yourself but more than no shower!).

    #2: Go to a health food store and find a good quality multi-vitamin with a high vitamin b level. I really like New Chapter Organics Every Woman (not one a day). I swear that without these I would not have made it through the day. They give me energy, not in a red-bull sort of way but in a good, pretend I had a good night sleep kind of way.

  4. Bubblybunny January 13, 2009 at 6:02 am #

    Haha…Love this post. You are not a bad mother, just a busy one.

    My mom is always telling my baby how lucky he is that he’s the first born because his little brother/sister will not be getting all the attention he’s getting now. Who’ll have the time to dote on the baby every waking moment when you’ve got a toddler running around?

  5. shearjolly January 13, 2009 at 6:28 am #

    I can totally relate to this post. My list would include the following confessions:

    * Many days the dog only gets out for potty breaks.
    * I have not yet put together my pregnancy journal, let alone kept good records on my almost 4 month old’s development (except my blog).

    I too know that I am not a horrible mother but a mother’s guilt is a horrible thing, isn’t it?

  6. Jenny January 13, 2009 at 6:28 am #

    I better do a blog like this so you don’t feel alone!!!

  7. taibhsearachd January 13, 2009 at 7:15 am #

    Hi Fawn. I think all of us who are going through or who have already gone through the multiple babies/toddlers stage can both relate and commiserate. All I can say is I found when I didn’t think it could get any worse, it started to get better. I remember one summer when my husband was down south attending school and I was a single mom with two little ones. There was one day in particular when all I could do was weep because I was sure I couldn’t do this any more. It had been raining all day, my roof was leaking, the kids had been crying and fighting with one another, etc. etc. In the midst of my ’emotional breakdown’ I happened to look out the window and I saw the most beautiful rainbow I have ever seen in my life. All of a sudden everything changed, and at that moment I could have conquered the world.

  8. L. January 13, 2009 at 7:46 am #

    Hi darling,
    Wonderful confessions. You are not alone! I only have Bennett, and yet I would have to confess to most of the same “sins” you’ve listed above… how will I ever manage once I have 2 kids???
    *Hair goes unwashed for 3-4-5 days at a time
    *Cant remember the last time I shaved my legs, it may have been in October
    *Also keep forgetting to do Vitamin D
    *Lately have been forgetting to turn the bassinet around so Bennett is losing his hair in a bald patch on one side (hopefully not getting a flat head too)
    *Watch TV religiously while breastfeeding lately, sometime don’t even notice he’s done until he cries
    *Rarely get outside for fresh air
    *Just ate a whole batch of cookie dough, what kind of example am I setting nutrition-wise?
    *Sometimes stay up 1-2 hrs after Bennett is finally asleep to check email and facebook, then can’t wake up in the morning
    *Sleep through my baby crying even though his bassinet is right next to me
    *Keep him waiting to nurse so I can finish what I am doing
    *AND ALL THIS WHILE STAYING AT MY PARENTS SO SURROUNDED BY SUPPORT – I don’t even have to cook, clean, or do laundry.

    How will I survive on my own in Calgary?? Thanks for coming out of the closet! Hugs…

  9. Asheya January 13, 2009 at 10:17 am #

    I’m there with you. It’s tough having small children. It’s truly amazing how each child will demand every last bit of you, and then demand more.

  10. Nemmy January 13, 2009 at 5:58 pm #

    Hahaha… I also commit some of these sins (won’t admit which ones) and I don’t have ANY kids. So what’s my excuse? xoxox

  11. Idania January 13, 2009 at 6:42 pm #

    I will admit to the not showering; I mentioned this to Michael yesterday about being stinky; he gave me a funny look and closed his mouth…maybe he could smell me from where he was? The worst thing is that I haven’t even given birth yet, just a gigantic-saurus waddling around the house! 😉

  12. Me? January 13, 2009 at 6:43 pm #

    Ahhhh – I so remember those days, Fawn. And everyone (including you!) will survive – amazingly intact! Honest.

    A very good friend of mine made me a cross-stitch when my second son was born that says:

    “A clean home is a sign of a wasted life”

    He is now 25 – and amazingly well adjusted!

    Hang in there.

  13. maleesha January 13, 2009 at 7:55 pm #

    It’s SO hard to adjust to two little rugrats. Especially when you are SO tired, not getting enough sun, and it feels like your only purpose in life is to be the host to a bunch of parasites surrounding you (or maybe that’s just how I feel sometimes 🙂 )

    And I still do #1 a LOT and my baby will be 1 on Saturday! I guess kiddos have taught me a lot about letting stuff go. Sigh.

  14. Bubblybunny January 25, 2009 at 6:39 pm #

    Just adding my own confessions on my blog:


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