Psych

9 Mar

Well, we did end up with a total count of six drop seizures today, but they were fortunately clustered together and they all happened when Jade was doing something safe, like sitting in my lap or strapped into her booster seat.  I’m not sure she would have had these seizures, except that she refused to finish her lunch (a huge disappointment to me because it was a new pancake recipe and she should have LOVED them!) and then didn’t want her afternoon snack.

After she had three drops in a row, followed by another two a few minutes later, she finally agreed to eat something.  I don’t know if it’s because I am continually telling her that it’s her food that makes the seizures go away, or if she just suddenly decided to be agreeable.

All this makes me wish I had some kind of training in child psychology.  Well, I mean, I do — as much as any parent does.  But I’m definitely barely keeping up and I’d like to, for once, feel like I’m ahead.  I wish I knew what was going on in her little mind and how to head her off at the pass.

Why, for instance, is she suddenly squirreling food away in her cheek?  I thought it was just a resistance tactic so that we couldn’t feed her any more of something she doesn’t want.  But she got peas for supper tonight, which she loves.  She kept spooning them in herself… but not swallowing them.  Not until she started eating her cheese did they start going down.

Then there’s potty training.  She loves to sit on the potty, whether it’s her little potty or the “BIG one”.  But she never pees in the potty.  It’s like she doesn’t know how to go.  Is that possible?  Is it possible that when she does go, it isn’t voluntary?  She drank plenty today and was dry for the entire afternoon in panties.  We spent time reading on the potty before bed and we talked about peeing, but no actual peeing took place.  This is a guarantee that we’ll have to change a wet diaper in the middle of the night.  (Last night it was about 10:30 that we heard her chirping to herself.  I went into her room to find a wet diaper in the middle of her room, and Jade in socks, inside-out panties, and one leg stuck in the wrong half of a pair of pants.  At least this job has laughs!)

And of course there’s the boundary testing, the okay-I-heard-you-say-not-to-do-it-so-I-have-to-try-it-one-more-time thing.  Annoying as that can be, I totally get that this is necessary development and it’s not necessarily a bad thing that she isn’t completely compliant to authority.  But on the other hand, there are things she won’t try at all.  She loves to play dress-up with some dolls of mine (who have a fantastic wardrobe, but that’s another story) but she will barely even attempt to do it herself before shoving them at me and saying, “Help.”  And she often asks for us to feed her, even though she is perfectly capable of doing it herself.  (This is likely my fault because I worry about her missing some of her food.)  As ridiculous as it sounds, I already wonder if this is a sign of complacency and what her work ethic will be like.

Perhaps I am romanticizing the field of child psychology, though.  I’d like to think someone has all the answers.  But since that someone isn’t me, well, perhaps it doesn’t really matter.

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10 Responses to “Psych”

  1. Gen March 9, 2009 at 9:12 pm #

    Utterly baffling aren’t they! 🙂

  2. Tammy March 9, 2009 at 11:05 pm #

    Girl Terror often asked us to feed her….once her little brother arrived.
    Boy Terror did the squirrel thingy too. But rather than swallow, he chewed and then spit it all out. I don’t know what any of it means, other than “mommy needs more vodka.”

  3. Clare March 10, 2009 at 4:50 am #

    I always look with suspicion at those who have all the answers. If nothing else it would take all the mystery out of life.

    One thing I do know is things like potty training will come. When Hilary seemed to take forever at that skill I kept reminding myself that she wasn’t going to be in diapers when she was 18, that at some point she’d decide to do it. And with her, when it happened, it happened over night. From diapers to no diapers, not even one for safety, literally from one day to the next.

    Funny how we keep wanting them to grow for the first few years and then keep wishing they weren’t growing so fast after that.

  4. Nita March 10, 2009 at 8:00 am #

    Michael did that too – hiding food in his cheeks. He’d only swallow when he couldn’t hold any anymore. And then he’d need milk to help swallow, and you can imagine the green mess that made. And potty training! I think he spent the entire half of his second year sitting on his little potty which was in the kitchen of all places, running his toy cars up and down the wall while we “waited” for something to happen. when it finally did, he had to run through the house (pee pot sloshing) to show Daddy. lol! those were the days, for sure!

  5. Jenny March 10, 2009 at 10:00 am #

    If you can “reason” with Jade can you buy something fun to do that she can only do after her plate is clean and her cream drank.
    Naomi’s no where near any of the things Jade can do. She’s got taking stuff off down pat, putting anything on or in is a no go.
    I am always amazed that my girl can sit on the potty and NOT pee! I guess it’s the pushing 2 kids out thing, but I could never sit on the potty and NOT pee 🙂
    Naomi woke at 8, we had to leave home at 8:30, I gave her cheerios and her cream and she ate the cheerios then I had to drive the 20 miles to therapy reaching back and trying to get her to drink something! Finally got it all down about 9:30! They never co-operate!

  6. Nemmy March 10, 2009 at 5:13 pm #

    Okay, well this is coming from a chick without kids (so what do I know?) but my guess would be that her wanting you to feed her, help her dress her dolls, etc. is more of an attention-getting measure than a problem with any work ethic (as a little sister, I have experience with attention-getting tactics).

    ‘Course, on the off chance that your comment was just whistling in the dark, you can ignore the above.

    However, your kids are awesome. They make me want to have kids. And I’m not just saying that ’cause I’m their Auntie. 😀

  7. Barbara March 10, 2009 at 8:00 pm #

    This Mom just did a long post on potty-training:
    http://www.mycharmingkids.net/. Sorry. I don’t have time to search for the particular post, but it was pretty thorough, and she has 4 children, the oldest 4y/o.

    Tammy makes a good point about Jade’s behavior changing because of Halia. Could explain a lot.

    Looks to me like you are doing a good job. The med/diet thing is ample requirement, eh? You sure are hard on yourself, Fawn. Now go read the whole internet on child psychology before bed. lol!

  8. Asheya March 10, 2009 at 11:05 pm #

    Child psychology! Ha! I thought I was an expert on child psychology (having graduated with a degree in education, where I was required to take at least one child psychology class, not to mention courses like classroom management). When I worked in the classroom I could generally manage to psychologize my way through the inevitable behaviour challenges that arose.

    Now that I am up close and personal with my own kids 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with less sleep than I thought I could survive on in university (ooooh, if I could be so lucky to have that amount of sleep again!) I find myself often baffled, frequently stymied, and occasionally very much involved in the emotional outbursts of a 1 and 3 year old. I didn’t realize my emotional capacity was so close to that of a toddler’s!

    I think that ultimately while we don’t have all the answers, or even all the patience, that we want, in the end our kids know we love them. And we just try to figure things out one day, sometimes one minute, at a time.

  9. MommyTime March 11, 2009 at 5:24 pm #

    My daughter went months of sitting happily on the potty, being able to “hold it” for hours at a time, and NEVER actually peeing anyplace but a pull up while she was asleep. I am convinced that she did not know how to go on the potty or what it should feel like. Once she figured out what it should feel like, it took two days to have her fully potty trained during the day, and within two weeks, she was wearing underpants at night. In four months, she’s had two accidents. It will happen for Jade, too. She just has to figure out how it’s supposed to feel while she’s sitting there on that strange open hole of a ceramic seat.

  10. Cathy March 26, 2009 at 8:29 pm #

    Fawn – I still feed Noah many of his foods – mostly his butter and cinnamon. I can’t battle it anymore. I feel for these Keto Kids a little when it comes to “normalcy.” What is it really like to never have control of what or when or how much you eat? What’s it like to never be away from mom or dad, even in another room? What’s it like to not go on playdates daily like all of your friends and when you actually do go to a friend’s house to play, your Mom has to pal along?

    Anyway, I wish I could get inside his head quite often. I think the laughs we have with our kids keep us going! I’m still cracking up about the middle of the night, wet diaper on the floor, inside out underwear, half on pants………..

    Have a great day!
    Cath

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