Monsters in the living room

7 Oct

Today we built a couch-cushion fort.  I don’t know why we’ve never done this before, but I figured it was high time Jade was initiated into the ritual of furniture fort-building.  She absolutely loved it.  (And, in fact, pretty much pitched a fit when it was time to stop playing to have supper.)

Of course, when you remove the cushions from your couch, you inevitably remember that you never vacuum there.  And you may be disgusted by what you see.  So, if you’re feeling as if you really ought to at least try to do some household work now and then and it might as well be now seeing as the kids are busy and happy, then you just might haul out the vacuum cleaner.

And you might discover, tucked tightly into a crevice, and perilously close to being swallowed up by the structure of the couch, one of the missing cordless phones (dead as a doornail, of course).  And you might wonder, why didn’t I look for it in the couch sooner?

Then, you might gingerly feel under the back and arms of the sofa, in those tricky spaces where eyeballs can’t reach and sharp things might linger, and squishy things might exist.

You might be surprised to find a piece of Lego that is so foreign and unidentifiable, that it is clearly a leftover from the previous owners of the couch.  You might find the ear wax digger (I am not kidding you) of a former guest.  (Apparently, persons of Chinese descent have harder ear wax and a specialized tool is required to get it out because Q-tips just don’t cut it.  And that is your totally disgusting PSA of the day.)  You might further find the beloved “Camping” model Swiss Army Knife your husband has been missing for months if not years.  And you might wonder at the finding of it, since your own identical (but newer) knife, which was also lost for a similar amount of time, was found earlier in the day when you cleaned out an old purse you never use to give it to your daughter for “dress up” purposes.

Then you might just conclude that the real monsters in your (w)rec(k) room are not your children, but the fuzzy-from-cat-and-dog-hair and all-too-innocent-looking green couches. 

And they’re hungrier than you think.

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4 Responses to “Monsters in the living room”

  1. Nemmy October 8, 2009 at 6:59 am #

    *giggles* My monster is the washing machine. It eats my socks. But not both. Ony one of each pair.

    It is a discerning machine.

  2. allmycke October 8, 2009 at 9:25 am #

    In my home I have a monster with four legs and a flat top. It will seemingly swallow cell phones, pens, credit cards, bills from any company, memory sticks and other items – only to cough them up when I turn my back for a moment.
    My desk is bewitched!

  3. Barbara October 9, 2009 at 4:50 pm #

    cute story!

  4. Jenny October 11, 2009 at 9:06 am #

    I’m in constant fear that Naomi will find something in our couch that will knock her out of ketosis. There’s a hole that has opened under one of the cushions that I fear may be a portal to some other dimension. Some very scary place with lots of fuzzy things.

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