The one where she talks about sheets

11 Mar

Yep, it’s getting all domestic ’round here, ya’ll.

Around the time we moved to Whitehorse, we upgraded from my 20-year-old double bed to a brand new queen-size bed.  Ah, the luxury of that extra 4 inches wide and 5 inches long!

Given that we had a baby on the way and a much larger mortgage, I tried to be frugal in as many ways as I could.  So I got some plain white boringly economical sheets for the bed, and that was fine.  (Although?  Humans who possess sebaceous glands are not meant to sleep on white sheets.  Just sayin’.)  Later, I added a set of jersey sheets (that stuff that feels like an old t-shirt) and that was okay, but I hated how the flat sheet would stretch like Gumby and get all disorderly during the night.  Later still, I found super-cheap sheets at Superstore; the patterns were decent and the price was right at about $10 per sheet.

I’ve never seen the big deal in luxury sheets.  Sure, they feel nice against your skin, but considering I’m usually freezing cold and bundled in flannel PJs, that leaves just my feet and face to appreciate the texture.  And not even that on nights where I have to put on socks.

But let me tell you, folks, el-cheapo 180-thread-count sheets (did you even know that thread-counts could go that low?!), they feel like that cheap gray recycled paper toilet paper.  The unused stuff, to be precise, but we could carry this anolgy a step further. Also, because they weigh about as much as a spider’s web, they float around and get all disorderly during the night, and we already know how much I hate that.  Pretty much the only good thing about these sheets is the nightly face exfoliation.

I’ve been looking for something better, but couldn’t find any patterns I liked in a price range that didn’t make me faint.  But today I was at Wal-Mart (sigh) getting a bean-bag chair1.  After much hemming and hawing over styles and sizes (not that there was much selection) we picked out a bean-bag chair2 and went looking for one of those Price Check machines, which took us into the bed linens aisle. 

And I found them.  A set of Queen-sized sheets that I liked the look of and didn’t break the bank.  And they were 300-thread-count. 

I should probably add a bunch of exclamation points here.

300-thread-count is in fact pretty mediocre if you belong to the luxury-sheets-only segment of society.  But try sleeping on sandpaper for a year, my friends, and these babies will feel like the softest silk.  My fingers fairly sang as I slipped these guys, still warm from the dryer, onto the mattress.  I have learned my lesson, people.  It’s nothing but the best for me from now on.  Or at least 300-thread-count.

(How about you?  Are you a luxury bedlinens fiend, or do you just want to keep something between your body and the bare mattress?  Do tell.  Ma Fawnela is all ears.)

1. Remember that post where she climbed over the couch across the folding table and onto the piano?  Yep, she kept doing it when my back was turned, until she finally fell off the piano.  So I finally figured out that I should — like, duh! — move the folding table somewhere else.  So then she figured she’d start falling off the arm of the couch instead.  Not as big a drop, but, yeah, until she learns not to fall when she climbs, we needed to get her something to land on.)

2. Do you realize how much those things cost?!  And that Static Guard is a great way to neutralize the damned styrofoam beans that won’t detach from the plastic bag they came in?  Mmm, chemically goodness all the way around.

13 Responses to “The one where she talks about sheets”

  1. Suzanne March 12, 2010 at 6:09 am #

    i don’t know if you have one (just looked and you don’t, but the next time you’re in Vancouver, TO or Ottawa…), but you can get REALLY good sheets at HomeSense for a pretty good price. They will ruin you forever — be forewarned.

  2. yukonjen March 12, 2010 at 6:10 am #

    Sheets! High thread count. The highest you can find. I used to use just regular sheets. Anything I could find in the store that was a reasonable price. When we started the vacation rentals though, we bought something like 680 thread count–and those were for the guests.

    I figured that if I could afford high thread count sheets for guests (who may not even know to appreciate it), I could afford them for myself. I appreciate them EVERYDAY! Or night, whatever.

  3. yukonjen March 12, 2010 at 6:14 am #

    Oh..remember our conversation about RSS feeds? I found this site: . Among other things, it gives you the number of people subscribed to your RSS.


    Talk to you soon.

  4. MFA Mama March 12, 2010 at 7:05 am #

    Whoo! New sheets! I went through a “replacing all linens” phase after my divorce and am here to tell you that high thread counts are only good to a certain point. I have some 1200TC ones that are FABULOUS (so fabulous we still use them regularly even though there’s a big hole in the top sheet, and I have NO idea how it got there but it’s near an edge at least). But when I found some 1600TC ones on e-Bay at a price I could afford? Dude I’ve washed them a billion times and they STILL feel like very fancy cardboard. They make audible crumpling sounds. Seriously.

    Nothing beats flannel though 🙂

  5. Murray March 12, 2010 at 7:51 am #

    Even I have been spoiled and can’t go back. I got a great deal on 600 count a few years ago at JC Penney when I was guiding a tour in Anchorage and that was the end of 200/250 count and flannel sheets! A coincidental move away from a cabin heated with a very old/small/inefficient woodstove certainly helped with the conversion to luxury. A lot more of me than feet and face feels the sheet, though – maybe that’s a big part of the difference in our value perspective 🙂

  6. Tammy March 12, 2010 at 9:13 am #

    I admit, Hubby has convinced me to splurge on sheets. I have tried the jersey t-shirt ones, like you I found they stretched all out of shape. Now I have the best I can afford (from WalMart, of course!) and it is pure heaven!!! If it makes you feel better, divide the price of the sheets by the number of nights you might sleep on them. See? What a good deal!!

  7. Scientific Chick March 12, 2010 at 9:23 am #

    Oohh, nice sheets. I used to think sheet quality didn’t matter. Then I got my first set from this place:

    Not cheap, but sooo worth it. Unbrushed cotton is where it’s at. And be careful with those thread count claims. Depending on the type of fabric, it might not mean anything.

  8. Opa March 12, 2010 at 12:34 pm #

    What’s the thread count in the guest room?

    I never even knew anyone counted the threads on sheets. I can certainly think of a whole slew of more interesting pursuits in life than counting the threads on bedsheets. Unless you see this as an alternative to counting sheep on a hard-to-fall-asleep evening.

    And I can reliably report from empirical evidence that Crook’s waking appetite at 3 a.m. is a much greater threat to any guest room occupant than the threads on the sheets.

    But now that Jade got the first 10 digits almost under control, perhaps we can graduate her to counting threads in all the bedrooms – marry the practical and the educational, so to speak.

  9. Captain Momma March 12, 2010 at 2:40 pm #

    Oh Fawn. You have not slept on heaven until you have tried bamboo sheets from Quilts Etc. Pricy darn things but we have never gone back. We got them as a gift. We use them every day, wash and put back on. And there is no signs of wear!

    I think the queen set runs about $100, but seriously, SERIOUSLY, worth every penny and more!!!

  10. Laura March 12, 2010 at 6:26 pm #

    This winter we discovered fleece sheets. Oh so nice to snuggle into on a cold night. Though they do leave my hair a little staticy. Your Opa is hilarious.

  11. Jennifer March 13, 2010 at 7:31 am #

    I am with Laura….I discovered fleece sheets….so cozy…so warm….so yummy!!!!

  12. Marianne March 13, 2010 at 6:29 pm #

    My husband won’t tolerate fleece sheets, so I only get to enjoy them when we visit my in-laws in Vancouver, where they’re great because cotton sheets always feel damp in Vancouver, especially in the basement guest room. We do have a set of flannel sheets that we use almost exclusively in the winter (hubby’s not a fan of those either, but he sweetly bought them for me as a birthday gift a few years ago because I am always cold in bed in the winter.) We have 3 sets of cotton sheets for our bed. Two were gifts (a housewarming gift for my husband and a wedding gift to us) and they are both 300 or higher thread count, and deliciously smooth and lovely. The other set … well, they were a Zellers special with a low thread count that has only been made worse by the fact that they haven’t worn well and have pilled all over (I didn’t know cotton could do that!). I am, in fact, considering getting rid of them because I don’t think they’ve been on our bed since we were married. I don’t even let our guests sleep on them.

  13. Laurie March 14, 2010 at 8:52 am #

    Fleece sheets, but skip the accompanying pillowcases. Go with flannel or cotton pillowcases to keep the staticky hair at bay. They don’t match? Oh well – warm, comfortable and not too much static! But the real secret? A bedwarmer mattress pad, AND an electric blanket on top, and a down comforter and a heavy thick cotton comforter on top of that. The electric items? Dual controls, because I often leave both of mine on mid to high, and my husband NEVER TURNS HIS ON!

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