Return to work

31 Aug

I’ve been back to work for two weeks now, although from a work-week point of view, it’s only been one.  Did I mention that my boss, upon hearing that I wanted to work half-time, actually managed to organize a job-share for me?  Totally awesome.

So I work two and half days a week.  That means I change out of my pajamas before 10 a.m. at least two days a week.  It means I put on makeup, pretty skirts, and heels (although it’s the Yukon, so I’m just doing that because I like to, dammit), and sit at an organized space that no one else touches.

I will admit that I was not exactly looking forward to going back work.  “This is not going to make life simpler,” I thought to myself.

But.  I like the people I work with, I enjoy the department I’m in, and I’m excited about some of the projects I’ll be taking on over the next few months.  So it’s been better than I thought.  It’s been nice, actually.

Then again, I’ve been working on getting my head out of the “just half-time” space.  Because I’m only half-time, so I don’t deserve a good spot in the geography of cubicles.  I’m only half-time, so how can I ask for a new whiteboard, coat rack, or that second monitor everyone in the group has (because we’re a bunch of techies, after all)?  Nobody’s making me feel this way; it’s all in my own head.  My boss has told me not to think of myself as just half an employee, so I’m getting over it, but, yeah…

I’ve been out of the office for nearly two years.  I can hardly believe it.  And, of course, lots of things are the same.  But a lot of things are different.  And the group of people I work with has changed a bit.  And I’m a bit of an outsider.  And I feel it.

But I’m probably feeling it too much because, for God’s sake, I’m totally PMSing and isn’t that the stupidest timing of all?  But at least I realize it and I can give myself a mental slap and tell myself to smarten up, they didn’t all go for their coffee break together without inviting you just to spite you, you twit.  Suck it up and go get your own coffee.  Mmmm, yummy, that’s better.

I’m working my butt off, even when I’m not at work.  Not that I was lazing about before, but I am now more disciplined at home.  The dishes get done every single night come hell or high water because there will be no way to get them done in the morning.  I usually have one or two of Jade’s meals made because it makes the kids’ day go smoother.  Often this means I’m in bed far later than I want to be.  I’m working on that.  (But where is the time for blogging, I ask you?  Where?!)

Oh yeah, and there’s Halia, who is definitely having some separation anxiety.  She’s had me home with her for almost two years.  Spoiled is not at all the right word, but I can’t think of a better one.  You know what I mean, right?

But on my days home, I enjoy both the kids even more.  I miss them when I’m at work, which I honestly didn’t expect to.  Our time together is sweeter, and a big reason is because I don’t have to be with the everysingleminuteoftheday.

So yeah, it’s a mixed bag.  But overall?  It’s good.

(At least so far…)

4 Responses to “Return to work”

  1. Captain Momma September 1, 2010 at 11:56 am #

    Yay! Glad to hear it! I am envious of the adult interaction you get but am looking forward to Kindergarten starting next week😉

    Awww, it IS hard trying to fit back in where you once were but I am sure with time you’ll be the first one they go get for coffee breaks🙂 You’re awesome and you rock!

    Now where’s the video of you singing recently, I finally have high speed to watch it with ;)hee hee

    Hugs!

    Kelli

  2. Barbara September 6, 2010 at 4:13 am #

    Aw. Just consider this a transition for Halia to less time with Mom but new experiences with someone else. (Not needing to use the ‘s’ word.)

    Looks like you are managing the transition well!

  3. Jenny September 7, 2010 at 5:33 am #

    I’ve been out of work since Jan 1999🙂 LOL I can’t even imagine spending part of the day among adults!
    This post made me realize I have to buy chicken and cook squash for Naomi’s meal tonight! She’s eating the same thing day after day which makes getting everything together so much easier. I make her #4 meal up 6 at a time so that makes it great! Talked to Naomi’s school today, she’ll be there this year and next, then they asked me what my goals for her were in transitioning her to Kindergarten. I told them the truth, I can’t even imagine it right now! My only plans are she’ll leave at 8 get home at 3, 2 years from now🙂

  4. woody September 9, 2010 at 7:27 am #

    I am sure you are doing a good job by coming back to work, even greater job by being a mommy !!!

    3 cheers🙂
    woody

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