I’ve been back to work for two weeks now, although from a work-week point of view, it’s only been one. Did I mention that my boss, upon hearing that I wanted to work half-time, actually managed to organize a job-share for me? Totally awesome.
So I work two and half days a week. That means I change out of my pajamas before 10 a.m. at least two days a week. It means I put on makeup, pretty skirts, and heels (although it’s the Yukon, so I’m just doing that because I like to, dammit), and sit at an organized space that no one else touches.
I will admit that I was not exactly looking forward to going back work. “This is not going to make life simpler,” I thought to myself.
But. I like the people I work with, I enjoy the department I’m in, and I’m excited about some of the projects I’ll be taking on over the next few months. So it’s been better than I thought. It’s been nice, actually.
Then again, I’ve been working on getting my head out of the “just half-time” space. Because I’m only half-time, so I don’t deserve a good spot in the geography of cubicles. I’m only half-time, so how can I ask for a new whiteboard, coat rack, or that second monitor everyone in the group has (because we’re a bunch of techies, after all)? Nobody’s making me feel this way; it’s all in my own head. My boss has told me not to think of myself as just half an employee, so I’m getting over it, but, yeah…
I’ve been out of the office for nearly two years. I can hardly believe it. And, of course, lots of things are the same. But a lot of things are different. And the group of people I work with has changed a bit. And I’m a bit of an outsider. And I feel it.
But I’m probably feeling it too much because, for God’s sake, I’m totally PMSing and isn’t that the stupidest timing of all? But at least I realize it and I can give myself a mental slap and tell myself to smarten up, they didn’t all go for their coffee break together without inviting you just to spite you, you twit. Suck it up and go get your own coffee. Mmmm, yummy, that’s better.
I’m working my butt off, even when I’m not at work. Not that I was lazing about before, but I am now more disciplined at home. The dishes get done every single night come hell or high water because there will be no way to get them done in the morning. I usually have one or two of Jade’s meals made because it makes the kids’ day go smoother. Often this means I’m in bed far later than I want to be. I’m working on that. (But where is the time for blogging, I ask you? Where?!)
Oh yeah, and there’s Halia, who is definitely having some separation anxiety. She’s had me home with her for almost two years. Spoiled is not at all the right word, but I can’t think of a better one. You know what I mean, right?
But on my days home, I enjoy both the kids even more. I miss them when I’m at work, which I honestly didn’t expect to. Our time together is sweeter, and a big reason is because I don’t have to be with the everysingleminuteoftheday.
So yeah, it’s a mixed bag. But overall? It’s good.
(At least so far…)