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The first time I (almost) married

10 Aug

When I was in Grade 3, I had a giant crush on a boy in my class. Joel liked me, too. He would hang out with me and my best friend, Tanya, at recess. He would tease me in class. He would bring me little gifts: a lipstick, for example, or a bottle of nail polish. (Both of these used and more than likely stolen from his mother’s dresser; it seems that even in childhood, all’s fair in love and war.)

One day Tanya and I were playing house in the schoolyard. There was plenty of snow and we planned out an elaborate house with a living room, kitchen, halls, and bedrooms. We stomped down the snow in our house to make the rooms, and built up the snowy walls to further define them. Joel joined us in our game and by the end of recess the house was complete. As our crowning achievement, Joel and I decided to get married at the next recess, with Tanya acting as the officiant.

I don’t know how it happened, but word spread through the classroom and by afternoon recess, I found that the entire class was in attendance for the wedding.

I was mortified. What had begun as a sweet game with the boy I liked suddenly became a public exhibition. I couldn’t take it. I ran away and hid from my class for the rest of that recess break.

Poor Joel. My desertion had humiliated him and he never really spoke to me again. I always felt rather sorry… but I guess I learned to be careful about who I agreed to marry.

Blogging woes: looking for a new blogging home

8 Jan

I started blogging at Live Spaces in April of 2005.  There wasn’t a lot of thought that went into the choice of blogging platform. I’d just discovered blogs and my main source of information was my sister’s blog, which she had started on Live Spaces (although it was called MSN Spaces back then, I think).  I’d been reading her blog for a few months and loved that I could finally keep abreast of what was going on in her life – she was so busy, we rarely talked on the phone.  I thought some of my family and friends might like it if I did the same thing.

There are a couple of good things about Live Spaces.  It’s very easy to upload pictures to create online photo albums, for one.  It’s pretty much idiot-proof easy to start.  You can do a little bit of customization with the theme and drag-and-drop built-in widgets around.  But I don’t know anyone who is seriously blogging who uses Live Spaces now.  Most people want more flexibility  to customize the look of their site.  Besides, despite my visitor’s account, people who come here have a heck of a time leaving comments, even when they do have an MSN Passport.  If they use Firefox, there are all sorts of issues (which is just dirty pool, in my humble opinion).  Since for me blogging has grown from a way to keep family and friends in the loop into being part of a larger community, I feel I’ve really outgrown Live Spaces.

It’s been a while that I’ve been thinking of switching to another blogging platform, but which one?  I already have a blog on Blogger, and since I’m such a Google groupie I use Gmail and the Google RSS Reader and such, so it would be easy to go there. 

But WordPress seems to have some great things going for it, too, particularly seeming to be friendlier to visitors than Blogger.  And if I eventually decide to get really serious, I can decide to find a host and take total control over how the thing looks instead of using a template someone else designed. However, I’ve started a test blog with WordPress and I’m having some issues with formatting the text- the system keeps deleting my line breaks so that all my paragraphs are mashed together.  I hate that!  Since the WordPress Support Desk is closed for the week, I’m left to wonder whether the advantages are worth the headache.

So, bloggy people, what have you to say on the subject?  If you want to leave a comment and haven’t got a passport, try using IE and sign in as fawnsguest using the password 99Nanuq.  Or you can reach me by email by mashing my first and last names together (my last name is Fritzen) and adding gmail (*dot*) com. At least if you’re reading this on Facebook it’s easy to leave a comment.  Whew, at least something is easy.

Cloudy skies at night

5 Jan
I took Nanuq out for his daily walk last night while Michael put Jade to bed for the last time for at least two weeks (he left for the NWT this morning).  I set out around 7:30 and it was very light outside.  Not as light as it would be in the middle of the summer, but I had no trouble seeing the trails and could see Nanuq the whole time, too.  It was amazing the difference between last night and my walk with him on Wednesday night.  Wednesday night was clear and cold and the stars sparkled in the sky; but I couldn’t see much down on the ground.  In fact, I actually took the wrong trail at one point and ended up going a different route than I had intended.  And Nanuq and the neighbour’s dog, Kodiak, kept getting lost in the shadows.
 
So what was the difference last night?  Last night, the sky was overcast.
 
It’s a strange truth that in the middle of winter in Whitehorse, it’s brighter out at night if it’s cloudy than if it’s clear.  The light from the city reflects of the low clouds and off the snow, too, so that the outdoors is lit up to twilight brightness.  I suppose I ought to lament the effects of light pollution, and I admit that a starry sky is much more romantic, but it made my walk last night much easier than Wednesday’s.  I was so giddy from being out with Nanuq in the orange light that I decided to roll down one of the tobogganing hills.  Given my propensity for running into trees, that’s one bit of childishness I definitely wouldn’t have attempted in the inky darkness of perfectly starry night.
 
If you have any unusual observations or random thoughts about weather, Rebecca is collecting posts about that topic this month.  Surf on over to check out weather in other parts of blogland, and if you want to play along, just send her the link.

Duh! We’re calendarly challenged

28 Dec
That invitation should say Saturday, DECEMBER 29th (tomorrow!) not January 29th.  Hunh, what were the chances of the 29th being a Saturday for two months in a row?  (Don’t answer that.)  Anyway, hope everyone who can come sees this on time…

You know you’re a parent when…

12 Dec
…you feel your heart melting when you hear a child say the word "chicken".

“Yer-in” fer a… ah, hell, this so isn’t me

1 Dec
Michael is the king of puns.  Since yesterday we both happened to blog about the need to pee, I thought he should make a brief posting about the coincidence.  But he refused.  So now it’s up to me to lower the tone of my blog.

Notes from my ninth-grade self

29 Aug

Ever since Jade was born, and perhaps even for some time before, I have felt that I am a thirty-somethinger and have to remind myself that I’m actually only 28.  I guess I think of one’s 20s as a time for dating, partying, and school, whereas one’s 30s I identify with career, parenting, and, I dunno, board games or something.  University already seems like a long time ago and high school is totally ancient history in my mind; anyway, for all the clarity of my memories, it seems like a darned sight more than 15 years should have elapsed since I was in the 9th grade!

This past weekend was quite productive for me in that I managed to get some more of the house painted (after a weeks-long hiatus) and I finally managed to finish installing the closet organizer while Michael was out with Jade.  It has only taken  8 months to complete this task, which couldn’t be done while Jade was around because of the power tools involved, and couldn’t be done while she was sleeping because of the power tools involved.  We have lived without a place to hang up our clothes for all that time, and believe me, the results weren’t pretty.  But now (my side of) the room is all cleaned up and I’m hoping to be an angel and keep it that way for a while.

So what the heck does the first paragraph have to do with the second?  Part of the cleaning and organizing of our bedroom involved once again delving into a box of memorabilia that has been languishing on a dresser top since we moved from upstairs.  I think I went through it a bit when me moved, but this time I was determined to clean it out and keep only the essentials.

The essential item on the top of the pile was a journal that I kept in the 9th grade.  It was actually meant to be given to my best friend from Thunder Bay (hey Tanya!) and she was supposed to write one for me.  But after pouring so much of myself into it, I couldn’t bring myself to give it to her, although I think I let her read it.  I don’t think she managed to write much in hers, so I guess we were even.  I managed to fill 150 pages in about 7 months, and I had more than one laugh-out-loud moment on Saturday evening as I re-read my adventures from those days.  Better than many of the books I’ve read lately, though I’m sure no one else would get such a kick out of it.  It’s hard to believe how many boys I had a crush on, how insecure yet narcissistic I was, how dramatic every little disagreement was at the time.  I grew up often feeling like I didn’t fit in with the kids around me, but now I wonder just how "different" I was; doesn’t it seem likely that most of my peers were just as lonely, disgusted, thrilled, deprived, nervous, and self-conscious as I was?  That perhaps the fact I got straight A’s didn’t make me as much of a freak as I felt I was?

Also in the box were copies of letters I sent to a couple of boyfriends over my high school years, and letters I got from them.  Also, some pretty terrible poems from a guy who had a huge crush on me, even though I was already dating someone else.  I couldn’t bring myself to throw them away yet because it seems really mean to trash all those (long gone) feelings.  I’m not even in touch with the guy anymore, and yet it seems like a hurtful thing to do.  Perhaps I need to perform a little burning ceremony and send them back to him on the wind.

I had a couple of "Aha!" moments as I was sifting through all the paper, like what it is I’m really looking for when I’m shopping for clothes, or realizing how desperately we all were to be loved.  So I didn’t throw it all out, because I think it’s still good for a few more "Aha!"s down the road.  I did manage to pare it down, though, so I am growing up, a little at a time.