Tag Archives: humour

Seeing stars

24 Nov

Last night, our babysitter told me that Halia had been asking for something at bedtime, but she couldn’t figure out what the child wanted.  Since Halia had her cuddly blankie, her special pillow, and her music playing, I couldn’t think of an answer, either.

But I figured it out tonight.

Last week one of us put Halia down for a nap without a diaper.  Well, the chances for in-crib precipitation at this point are about 50-50, and by the end of naptime, the sheets and blankets needed to be washed.  I remade Halia’s bed right at bedtime.  Since I don’t use fabric softener sheets, the crocheted blanket and fleece blankies were as full as static as they could possibly be.

I shook the blankets out as well as I could, but after the lights were off and I was tucking Halia in, there was still a lot of static left.  Have you ever tried making static electricity in the dark?  You see sparks!  There were so many flying electrons in Halia’s blankets, it made for quite a light show.  I didn’t want her to be upset by the stickiness of the static-filled blankets, so I said, “Look!  There are stars in your blankets!”

Well, every night since then she’s been asking for stars.  She’s only recently stopped calling them “winkles” and started saying “DAW!”  (Exclamation point absolutely mandatory.)  By the third or fourth night, of course, there were no sparks left, even when I rubbed the blankets together to try to make some.

“Sorry, Halia,” I told her.  “All the stars fell out.”  But that doesn’t keep her from asking me for them.  And asking Jennifer for them, too.

I guess I should wash her blankets again.

Advertisements

A Grimm tale

2 Apr

Ya’ll know the Brothers Grimm and their fairy tales, right?  And you’ve heard of Rumpelstiltskin, who could spin flax into gold?

When my mom was here, I would always joke with her about the miracle-worker I was, turning her hot and sour soup or mung bean cakes or pot-stickers into milk.  Yes!  I can transform orange juice into milk!  I can even do it in my sleep!

I tried to think of a name for a person who has this super-human talent, and — what do you know? —  a name immediately came to mind.  Not one I really want to take on, though.  The name?

Rumpled-milk-skin.

Apt, perhaps.  But I think I’ll stick with Fawn.

Not Chinese

17 Jan

Michael had an out-of-town business associate over for supper tonight. He made Thai red curry, served over fragrant rice. (It was delicious.) I am now cleaning up the kitchen. The three bowls we used were stacked on the counter. You can tell which two belonged to the white people. Two bowls had to be rinsed so as not to clog up the dishwasher. One bowl hadn’t a single grain of rice left in it.

I try not to judge them…

Proud parenting moment

17 Aug

Jade was being squirrelly.  My patience was wearing thin.  I tried reasoning (ha! with a two-year-old!).  I tried distraction.  I tried hugs.  Finally, in exasperation I spat out, “Oh, grow UP!”

Then immediately clapped my hand to my mouth in horror.

(Belly) laugh of the day

24 Jul

My boss of the past three years is retiring this week; he’s been a really great boss and I’m sad to see him go, as are many others in our organization.  Today, a number of us went for lunch at the Klondike Rib & Salmon for a send-off lunch. 

I ate the food I ordered, plus stole fries off of other people’s plates (because I was well-behaved and ordered salad as my side).  As I’ve said before, being 5 months pregnant leaves me with a lot less room for food.  By the end of the meal, I had eaten rather more than I should have and was feeling slightly uncomfortable. 

Two other women walked in as I was exiting the restaurant, rubbing my swollen belly and moaning to my co-worker about over-eating.  One of women looked and my belly and quipped, “Woah!  You really ate a lot!”